Community Closest you've come to dying?

Nahkapukki

Finest Finn
Sep 7, 2018
637
951
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The Iciest Hole
I was once traveling to see my then girlfriend (now wife) few hundred kilometers over when suddenly a tractor crossed the main road forcing me to swerve quickly causing the car to go in to a side slide downhill. I managed to get the car back in control and I chased the tractor driver down and told him where he could situate his head. After all that the real cherry on top was that when I turned back on the main road after talking to the tractor driver a police car drove after me the whole 200 kilometer trip. They are always fucking late.


Oh and I've been chainsawed and been set on fire 3 times. And I dropped from a second floor balcony. None of those were close enough to kill me tho so they don't count.
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
9,971
17,162
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I was once traveling to see my then girlfriend (now wife) few hundred kilometers over when suddenly a tractor crossed the main road forcing me to swerve quickly causing the car to go in to a side slide downhill. I managed to get the car back in control and I chased the tractor driver down and told him where he could situate his head. After all that the real cherry on top was that when I turned back on the main road after talking to the tractor driver a police car drove after me the whole 200 kilometer trip. They are always fucking late.


Oh and I've been chainsawed and been set on fire 3 times. And I dropped from a second floor balcony. None of those were close enough to kill me tho so they don't count.
 

NicholasDownie

MetaMember
Nov 4, 2018
3
3
3
A few times.

A handful of overdoses in high school, that I managed to survive.

The most recent was a year ago when at the chemical factory I worked for someone left ammonia unsealed in a confined cupboard. When I opened the cupboard I got a good whiff, and got knocked out and hospitalized for 24 hours.

Other then that I am Canadian, we don't live dangerous Finnish lives. ;P
 
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Nahkapukki

Nahkapukki

Finest Finn
Sep 7, 2018
637
951
93
36
The Iciest Hole
A few times.

A handful of overdoses in high school, that I managed to survive.

The most recent was a year ago when at the chemical factory I worked for someone left ammonia unsealed in a confined cupboard. When I opened the cupboard I got a good whiff, and got knocked out and hospitalized for 24 hours.

Other then that I am Canadian, we don't live dangerous Finnish lives. ;P
Well it's just me being accident prone. I almost stabbed myself in the eye by sitting down on a chair.
 

Kurt Russell

SUPREME OVERLORD
Sep 6, 2018
420
722
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30
Mar del Plata
When I got my first bike, I decided to test it by going down the steepest slope we've got here in my city. When I was near the end of the slope, a car appeared and I had like half a second to react and turn the bike's handle so I'd go through a few bushes instead of crashing against the car. The bike got all messed up and I had a few cuts and bruises. A guy opens his door, goes "are you alright? do you want me to call the ambulance?" I told him I only needed help finding my glasses, we found them all battered up, I got on the messed up bike and rode back home in shame.

I also almost got shot by a cop as a teenager. Was calling my grandmother on a public phone, then cops surrounded me and started shouting, one of them was waving a shotgun around my face, the damn thing fired itself but luckily only at the air. Turns out the idiots were looking for someone who'd robbed the gas station where the public phone was located, thought it was me, and went all crazy (as if a robber would have stayed around calling his grandmother on the phone).
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
9,971
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I also almost got shot by a cop as a teenager. Was calling my grandmother on a public phone, then cops surrounded me and started shouting, one of them was waving a shotgun around my face, the damn thing fired itself but luckily only at the air. Turns out the idiots were looking for someone who'd robbed the gas station where the public phone was located, thought it was me, and went all crazy (as if a robber would have stayed around calling his grandmother on the phone).
fucking hell!!!! O_O
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
9,971
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Yeah, it was during the "gatillo fácil" era here in Argentina (cops would shoot first, ask questions never). I was 13, I believe. Our government is trying to get back to those times, sadly.
damn :( sorry to hear that
 

Schnitzelfee

Token German
Sep 6, 2018
780
1,447
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Holy Roman Empire
Got almost run over by a train ones cause my dumb ass thought it was a good idea to use a short cut over some rail tracks...
Had to jump down a slope into thorny bushes or it would have hit me.
Damn, quiet, efficient German trains, didn't hear it coming.

It was actually really fucking close, dreamed about it for a while.

But we all do dumb shit as kids right?
I was over 30 when that happened :poop:

Geo cashing is a dangerous hobby man...
 
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Nahkapukki

Nahkapukki

Finest Finn
Sep 7, 2018
637
951
93
36
The Iciest Hole
Got almost run over by a train ones cause my dumb ass thought it was a good idea to use a short cut over some rail tracks...
Had to jump down a slope into thorny bushes or it would have hit me.
Damn, quiet, efficient German trains, didn't hear it coming.

It was actually really fucking close, dreamed about it for a while.

But we all do dumb shit as kids right?
I was over 30 when that happened :poop:

Geo cashing is a dangerous hobby man...

Lucky our trains are Italians then.
 
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Yakkue

ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
Sep 6, 2018
40
75
18
I once almost got run over by an ambulance that sped around a corner on a street that I had just started to cross, it brushed my arm very lightly.
They turned on the siren after they passed me. At least there would have been an ambulance close by if they had hit me I guess.
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
1,236
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Paris, France
www.fancierlust.com
I once drove off the road trying to avoid a deer, thankfully it was winter so the ditch was full of snow.:D But I think the closest I've come is having a massive asthma attack after doing spring cleaning in my apartment, I didn't think you actually could die from it, so I never really tried to get help, I just lied down on my bed suffocating for hours.
 

Nappael

MetaMember
Nov 16, 2018
16
49
13
Run over by a car.

Was knocked unconscious for nearly an hour, but very fortunately came away with only minor injuries to my leg, back, and some pretty bad concussion. It could have been much worse. Car apparently came away with a dent and a cracked windscreen
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
9,971
17,162
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Run over by a car.

Was knocked unconscious for nearly an hour, but very fortunately came away with only minor injuries to my leg, back, and some pretty bad concussion. It could have been much worse. Car apparently came away with a dent and a cracked windscreen
holy cow O_O
 

Stop It

Junior Member
Dec 19, 2018
22
45
13
Apparently when I was 3 months old I forgot to breathe for a bit while my parents were at a friend's.

I was thankfully sorted out and the staff at the hospital didn't Initially think it happened but I did it there too. But then after observations it never happened again.

When I was 3 I fell through a BT phonebooth that had the glass smashed. The shard I fell into missed my eyes by an inch in either direction.
 

RionaaM

Vogon Poetry Appreciator
Sep 6, 2018
592
1,402
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Apparently when I was 3 months old I forgot to breathe for a bit while my parents were at a friend's.

I was thankfully sorted out and the staff at the hospital didn't Initially think it happened but I did it there too. But then after observations it never happened again.

When I was 3 I fell through a BT phonebooth that had the glass smashed. The shard I fell into missed my eyes by an inch in either direction.
What. That's so weird. Like, you actually forgot about it? I had no idea that could happen. Also, that glass thing is horrible, I'm glad you didn't hurt your eyes.
 
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Stop It

Junior Member
Dec 19, 2018
22
45
13
What. That's so weird. Like, you actually forgot about it? I had no idea that could happen. Also, that glass thing is horrible, I'm glad you didn't hurt your eyes.
They don't know what happened but I went from typical wiggly infant to blue within moments.

No known cause and if it was in other circumstances it'll be counted as SIDS. But I'm a lucky bastard so I'm still here.

I have a small scare in my forehead as a reminder but nothing else from the fall. Again I was so lucky I didn't lose my sight or worse.
 
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Stevey

Gromlintroid
Dec 8, 2018
415
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Had a couple of motorbike crashes that didnt result in any injuries.
Fell off a BMX and broke my collar bone which is the only bone I've ever broken, so, yeah, been pretty lucky really.
 

708

MetaMember
Oct 20, 2018
35
107
33
I almost died in a flood 7 teen years ago. I was getting back from the final exam of my English class and there was so much water in the streets that I really couldn't see where I was walking. Suddenly I was in a runnel (hopefully I'm using the right word) :LOL: It moved me for around 15-20 metres I guess. I even moved pass a newsstand which was built on the top of that runnel. Luckily I got stuck to a tree (probably its root or something) and some man in black pulled me up:LOL:
 
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Nahkapukki

Nahkapukki

Finest Finn
Sep 7, 2018
637
951
93
36
The Iciest Hole
One of my (ex) friends owned an AK-47 and some drunken dumbass accidentally fired it into the ceiling of his apartment during a party. I was sitting on my friends couch playing Saints Row 2 on Xbox 360, and he was showing off his guns and dicking around behind me. Before I knew what happened I was outside walking around in circles with debris on my head while the neighbors were asking me if anyone was hurt. I was in shock and apparently I had crawled straight out of the apartment without even realizing what happened. Luckily no one was hurt except probably my ear drums. Surprisingly the cops never even showed up.

EDIT: I guess an important thing to note is when they were messing with the guns they were pointing them around the room like idiots and thought none of them were loaded.
That's pretty random. :D
 
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Gevin

Watch Madoka
Nov 16, 2018
682
1,751
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Rosario
I don't know if they count, but I've been mugged at gunpoint a few times and you never know what's going on through the guy's head so yeah, I was pretty scared for my life
 
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Madventure

The Angel of Deaf
Nov 17, 2018
190
553
93
This past summer I had...

Epiglottitis !
(The flap in your throat that makes sure you don't get anything in your lungs and blocks your windpipe, sort of important)

I had an infection in my throat area basically somewhere no specific (They never found out) I was gasping for air every time I breathed or tried to talk and I thought before ending up at a hospital that I could just sleep it off since it was probably just a more aggressive than normal breathing problem since I have asthma issues.
Was encouraged by family members to call my health insurances nurse line and it took the person on the phone about 30 seconds of trying to understand me between gasping to speak out my name and explaining my problems that "Yeah just get to the Closest ER like right now"

Had my family drive me to the ER (Was going to go to the hospital in my Insurance network that was like 30+ minutes away because America and bills but I couldn't hold out that long)

I ended up being in the hospital for 2+ days and getting transferred to a different hospital I was pumped full of antibiotics in the little drip bag things the entire time.
I basically walked in the door and started getting treatment from the doctors & nurses so I was that bad.

I mean I didn't die or anything but that is I think the closest that I can think of being completely helpless for like (Oh my god I'm going to die)

Up until I got the bill. Then I'm pretty sure I died.
 
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The Queen

Pro Gifting Queen Of Harassment
Oct 19, 2018
478
2,833
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for me is the probs the situation of where my best friend was murdered and i was held/tied and forced to watch circumstances unfold. like in that moment i thought i was next
 

SaviourMK2

A Kamen Rider just passing through
Jan 1, 2019
61
111
33
Welp.

Grossness entailed:

Back in 2014 I was being extremely tight about my money, I was trying to build a hefty savings. I made $330 a week for almost 2 years with nothing to show for it. I worked 5 nights a week between 10pm to 6am and was always by myself, a lot of times I had to do 6 day weeks because we had shit hires. So my diet consisted of.... cup ramen, spagetti-os from a can, chips, soda, and these spicy 99 cent burritos we had in the freezer. My thought process was "I'll just counteract all that sodium.... with WATER". I would buy a 3 gallon poland spring, every night, and drink it in the 8 hour span. Eventually I started to feel ill, I was coughing and getting short of breath. Then I started to dry heave, a lot. Then I started to throw up everything I ate.
Shortly after my work fired me because the manager was a pig who wanted to promote a girl who worked there to assistant manager so he could be a pig and i started getting slower and worse (I had no work so i wasnt moving). Eventually I started coughing up phlegm every morning. then the phlegm turned pink. Then sleep became an issue. I would wake up every 20-30 minutes gasping as though I was choking and felt the side I was laying on be 10 times heavier than usual, so i flipped sides (rinse and repeat for several hours). I stopped eating because food made me dry heave. A Burger I forced myself to eat the day prior (because i hadn't eaten in 3 days) eventually came back out, and hadnt digested, at all. I was also starting to fall asleep every hour or two, I had to start sleeping in a sitting position so i wouldnt wake up choking. It started to get worse when I wasn't peeing. I would feel my bladder full, but it would ony tinkle, and that was it.
Then I started coughing up blood every morning. As soon as my father found out, he forced me into the car to drive me to the hospital, the entire way there I told him I wanted to die. When they looked at me they saw my legs had swollen with water weight, they kept going up until they reached my belly button where their thumbs where leaving indents on my belly (Thats not supposed to happen). After some cat scans, they deduced I had taken on anywhere between 80-100 lbs in water weight, and it was not only closing off access to my stomach giving me that full/sick feeling), but it overworked my heart to the point of near death trying to compensate all the weight and pressure, my heart was working at less than 12% (A healthy heart is supposed to be working between 45-50%).
If i had waited a couple more days my heart would've eventually just stopped, or i wouldn't suffocated in my sleep.

They injected me with lasix that forced backed up fluid to my kidneys, within 15 minutes my kidneys where on the verge of popping and I ended up pissing out 30 ounces of water, and another 30 20 minutes later. It was the first time in almost 2 months where I didnt wake up from my sleep. The next morning I pushed out another 30 ounces and for the first time in 3 weeks I had something to eat and i stuffed my face.

it's been 5 years since then and I'm feeling much better, but my heart is not as durable as it used to be. I'm currently very obese and am making great strive to lose weight, but because my heart isn't strong (for people who don't know, when the heart overworks, it stretches the muscle, which is something it shouldn't do, so because my heart's muscle it a little more... thinner I guess, I get winded and tire very quickly), i can't work out.... yet. My Doctors firmly believe because i'm only 30, if i eat healthier I'll lose enough weight to start moving and grooving I'll be able to live normally like a person my age and my heart can recover enough to where it won't be an issue when i'm old.
 
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Maxi

MetaMember
Nov 12, 2018
86
119
33
Oh wow a lot of you have been through some terrible experiences, I couldn't imagine being in those situations!

I think my closest experience was when I was born and wasn't breathing to start off D:

Then I've had close experiences with very nearllly being run over by large tractors or speeding loons. Also been in a few car crashes that could of gone a lot worse but so far I've always been unscathed by them but a few inches here and there and it could of been a lot worse.

Nothing like what a bunch of you have experienced though!
 
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Copons

MetaMember
Nov 12, 2018
185
505
93
Brighton, UK
Fuck, nothing even close to what I've read here has ever happened to me, y'all live some terrifying lives dammit.

Though, I've got a rather funny story nonetheless: a few years ago, it was my first road trip in the US, first night in a motel and I was super excited because you know, movies, all kinds of cool stuff always happen in motels.

So it was super dark outside, just the light of the motel sign and the occasional car on the highway, and I was smoking a cigarette and taking some photos.

A police car turns into the motel parking lot and, very slowly, passes a few meters in front of me.
Inside the car, a dog starts barking, like totally out of the blue, and I nearly shit my pants because loud sudden noise always fuck me up.
Then the car moves further into the parking lot and disappears behind the motel building.

But then it pops back out and pulls over next to me, dog barking like crazy, and I suddenly realize I'm smoking a rather suspicious hand rolled cigarette, fuck me.

The policeman asks me what I'm smoking.
"It's a cigarette..."
"Yeah, right."
"Look, let me show you."

Then I move my hand towards the pocket where I kept the tobacco bag.
And he put his on the fucking holster.

My blood freezes.
I'm European, I don't know shit about guns, I've basically never seen any IRL, let alone being in front of someone considering if I'm reaching for some weapon.

I manage to pinch the tobacco bag with the tips of my fingers and pull it out, and this seems to clear his suspicions. He locks back the holster, and moves the hand anywhere else.

Now he's chilled a little bit, and asks me what the hell I was doing out there taking photos in the dark.
I explain it's my first night in a motel, and I was excited etc. So I have to know: "Why are you asking me this?"
He replies: "Have you ever heard of 9-11?"

It leaves me totally speechless, like, wtf does that even mean, we are in a crummy motel in the middle of the fucking New Jersey, does he really expect to catch a taliban recon mission led by a chubby little Italian guy?
In the end, he force me to delete the photos of the motel from the camera, and gets the fuck out of there.

tl;dr hand rolled cigarettes are apparently more common in Europe than in the US, the more you know
 

Pranooy

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sep 8, 2018
61
86
18
When I was a kid, I narrowly escaped getting bitten by very poisonous snakes (twice). Once I ran to collect a cricket ball which was hit far by a friend, which ended up next to Russel's Viper. The other time I was being a restless kid and was just messing around at a farm. (Don't exactly remember the variety of snake or the time even, coz i was way too young then).

Anyways don't stereotype me, y'all. I was born in a state with really dense forests.
 
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zkylon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOxkGD8qRB4
Nov 2, 2018
128
250
63
closest actually for me was near drowning once i was swimming in a river and i kind of caught a big random current that pulled me into some rocks and i hit my head and passed out and sunk. what i choose to remember as a gorgeous muscly swimmer guy got me out but i really remember sinking in the water and passing out. it sucked!

i was also in a hostage situation but robbers only roughed up design and business areas of the office so us programmers went harm free

edit: just to clarify robbers didn't really do anything to my floor and it only got scary when the cops arrived (an hour after the robbers had left) cos cops went walking out with their guns out in civilian clothing and it was fucking scary as shit. also during the robbery my bosses locked themselves out in the roof cos they wanted "better reception" for their phones to call the cops

i still find this shit funny those assholes lol
 
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Nahkapukki

Nahkapukki

Finest Finn
Sep 7, 2018
637
951
93
36
The Iciest Hole
closest actually for me was near drowning once i was swimming in a river and i kind of caught a big random current that pulled me into some rocks and i hit my head and passed out and sunk. what i choose to remember as a gorgeous muscly swimmer guy got me out but i really remember sinking in the water and passing out. it sucked!

i was also in a hostage situation but robbers only roughed up design and business areas of the office so us programmers went harm free

edit: just to clarify robbers didn't really do anything to my floor and it only got scary when the cops arrived (an hour after the robbers had left) cos cops went walking out with their guns out in civilian clothing and it was fucking scary as shit. also during the robbery my bosses locked themselves out in the roof cos they wanted "better reception" for their phones to call the cops

i still find this shit funny those assholes lol

Whoa! Those bosses should be sued.
 
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zkylon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOxkGD8qRB4
Nov 2, 2018
128
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Whoa! Those bosses should be sued.
my boss used to trick girls into doing sexy photoshoots for him, he filmed a couple of teenagers fucking in the streets and shared it with the whole office (as well as a recording of a breastfeeding on the subway he found 'hot') and i know there was some sort of hooker party once at the office with some other guy that as far as i know was gay so idk what went on there nor i wanna know. long after i had left my bosses also moved offices to a decrepit warehouse with loose wires hanging off the ceiling, dead rats and rotten shit on the fridge, terrible conditions like that to coerce my corworkers to resign when they just wanted to shut the company down

they were garbage for sure, i had a great laugh when they contacted me a couple months ago to ask me if i could build some old game i made for them for new versions of iOS. like fuck if i'm gonna go through the trouble of making that old ass code work in new OSes and also i got the chance to very soundly tell them to fuck off and it was glorious <3
 

#Senpai

Meta Man
Dec 5, 2018
1,415
3,332
113
Texas
About a year ago, I looked at my phone while driving and ended up going in a ditch. Thankfully it had rained previously because the mud allowed me to glide slowly down the ravine and into a fence. Had the ground been dry, I would have flipped. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Luckily, my old truck was fine and I didn't need to pay for anything besides the tow truck pulling me out.
 
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Nahkapukki

Nahkapukki

Finest Finn
Sep 7, 2018
637
951
93
36
The Iciest Hole
my boss used to trick girls into doing sexy photoshoots for him, he filmed a couple of teenagers fucking in the streets and shared it with the whole office (as well as a recording of a breastfeeding on the subway he found 'hot') and i know there was some sort of hooker party once at the office with some other guy that as far as i know was gay so idk what went on there nor i wanna know. long after i had left my bosses also moved offices to a decrepit warehouse with loose wires hanging off the ceiling, dead rats and rotten shit on the fridge, terrible conditions like that to coerce my corworkers to resign when they just wanted to shut the company down

they were garbage for sure, i had a great laugh when they contacted me a couple months ago to ask me if i could build some old game i made for them for new versions of iOS. like fuck if i'm gonna go through the trouble of making that old ass code work in new OSes and also i got the chance to very soundly tell them to fuck off and it was glorious <3
Fucking hell... People surprise me everyday with their shittiness.
 
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