Discussion Pretending to have Experiences

Le Pertti

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Let's just start off with that yes we all love games! It's part of our life and will be. There is a place for games.

What I do want to talk about is if you ever feel like it's a complete waste of time? In essence what games are is a substitute for real experience. Games are better substitutes than other entertainment mediums but it's still a substitute.

When I was the most nerdy, I genuinely thought that "why travel when I can do that much better in games". Holy shit that's crazy talk haha. I'm starting to realise that I've missed out on quite a bit that life has to offer thanks to getting so used to being so ok on my own, never getting bored and just comfortable spending all my time in front of the computer. There is always a new shiny game to play.

Now I've started to try and limit my gaming to evening and weekends but I still have no idea how go out in the real world to do anything. I try to make changed to help myself, or force myself to get out there. I moved to a big city, hell I even lived on the street but still all I wanted and often did was to isolate myself with my computer and games when I could. If I didn't have my computer I was clued to my phone.

So how do we stop being such nerds and how do we learn to have genuine experiences?
 
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Alextended

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I mean, I don't think many thought to replace traveling with things like playing games, reading novels, watching movies or series and so on. The former for most people's lifestyle with work, friends, family, education (school based or on your own time with books other than novels), whatever else, has to be planned and budgeted for and last a specific relatively short time frame, the latter you can do whenever you need some entertainment while still having time for friends, family and obligations. If you can do something like get paid to travel the world like some influencers or tv show hosts or whatever more power to you.
 

kio

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Moderation.
Everything in life eventually becomes bad for you if you have too much of it, even travelling or partying.

I personally don't treat gaming as a lifestyle but as a complement of my lifestyle. It's something I do after work to relax and let off some steam before settling down or going out. It doesn't replace or substitute anything else, it just balances my enjoyment of the other things.
Of course there are those days where I find myself enjoying the game so much that my play session lasts more than it should but that's not an issue if that's the exception and not the norm. The same principle can be applied to books, tv shows or movies or going out for dinner or drinks.
 

ISee

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I don't see a difference between hobbies, gaming is just one of many possibilities. Is car tinkering not a waste of time? Or how about spending time and money to regularly see your favourite soccer club?
Truth is, every single person on earth is wasting time with hobbies.
We all need some kind of stress relief and a way to escape reality for some time.
Moderation is the key factor here, because every hobby can become extreme and start damaging you.

Maybe try to find a second hobby. Something that will make you spend less free time with gaming. Something that depends on interactions with people.
No idea what to suggest. Some people train martial art or do other sports, some people are in book clubs, some people sing in choirs, some play pen&paper games, some go bowling, etc. It's all the same, doesn't matter what you pick. A second free time occupation could help you to find more balance with gaming.
 

Swenhir

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I think the questions is rather whether games are used to cope rather than to dream. For many of us, the word "nerd" is an insult more than anything else and games were, in a culture that doesn't really recognizes how badly it treats its children, a way to escape. It was good and, speaking personally, kept me sane.

Where this becomes a liability is where there's no longer a will but a habit. I try to play games when I want to, not when I can't think of anything else to do or when the anxiety is too much.

I also think that the fabled "experience" is often wrongly separated from your own state of mind. You've seem the photography thread, I've traveled around a fair bit but some places didn't even reach me because I was just exhausted and needed to regroup. It's not as simple as saying "welp, shut down the PC and get outside!"

I think it's more about asking yourself what you need and want right now rather than thinking of what you think you should do.
 
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Le Pertti

Le Pertti

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I mean, I don't think many thought to replace traveling with things like playing games, reading novels, watching movies or series and so on.
Yeah precisely, nothing can replace a real experience. Like my example that I didn't think to travel, now I didn't really think it was the same, but more that I felt like I didn't need to, that I was content with what games had to offer. Now this was in the a not so good period of my life so I am glad I didn't have that mindset for too long. I think it was also mostly about being scared of getting out there.


I personally don't treat gaming as a lifestyle but as a complement of my lifestyle. It's something I do after work to relax and let off some steam before settling down or going out. It doesn't replace or substitute anything else, it just balances my enjoyment of the other things.
Yeah almost same, for me gaming is my main hobby outside my passion for photography and other stuff, when I'm home I never really watch movies and rarely watch TV, I rather play a game. I think my frustration comes from that I rather play a game often than try to find something to do that would enrich my life. I used to have a rule, that I would game as much as I wanted but if someone asked me to do something social I would always say yes but that puts one in a passive role and that's no way to live life.

All i read in OP is "Why get a girlfriend if you can have a waifu"
Body pillows sell for a reason!;P


I don't see a difference between hobbies, gaming is just one of many possibilities. Is car tinkering not a waste of time? Or how about spending time and money to regularly see your favourite soccer club?
Truth is, every single person on earth is wasting time with hobbies.
We all need some kind of stress relief and a way to escape reality for some time.
Moderation is the key factor here, because every hobby can become extreme and start damaging you.

Maybe try to find a second hobby. Something that will make you spend less free time with gaming. Something that depends on interactions with people.
No idea what to suggest. Some people train martial art or do other sports, some people are in book clubs, some people sing in choirs, some play pen&paper games, some go bowling, etc. It's all the same, doesn't matter what you pick. A second free time occupation could help you to find more balance with gaming.
Yes exactly, games is just another hobby, entertainment medium, but I also think it's the better one! Since it's not passive it does better at substituting an experience. But hobbies where you actually manually do something and or create something are of course better. As much as we all love games and there are shown effects of overcoming obstacles in games that result in real feelings of accomplishments but they don't compare to the feeling one would get from lets say learn furniture making and making a chair.

As for my hobbies, I feel like I have too many haha, but of course gaming is little more than that, I would even say I'm passionate about gaming. I often say I have two passions in life, photography and games. If making games was as easy and photography then I would be making games as much.

I think the questions is rather whether games are used to cope rather than to dream. For many of us, the word "nerd" is an insult more than anything else and games were, in a culture that doesn't really recognizes how badly it treats its children, a way to escape. It was good and, speaking personally, kept me sane.

Where this becomes a liability is where there's no longer a will but a habit. I try to play games when I want to, not when I can't think of anything else to do or when the anxiety is too much.

I also think that the fabled "experience" is often wrongly separated from your own state of mind. You've seem the photography thread, I've traveled around a fair bit but some places didn't even reach me because I was just exhausted and needed to regroup. It's not as simple as saying "welp, shut down the PC and get outside!"

I think it's more about asking yourself what you need and want right now rather than thinking of what you think you should do.
For me, gaming has always been a good and healthy way to escape hardship. I will always value games because of it and will always have them in my life. You are completely right that it should be about playing games when one wants not to substitute something. The problem I got into in the first post is that sometimes it's hard to know what one is missing when one doesn't know what is out there. Sure it's not limited to gaming but gaming has uniquely a problem where one feels like one is doing something when playing a really good game. Pretending to have an experience.

When it comes to experiences I think I'm more saying that it doesn't have to be grand traveling adventures, but any real experience, trying to connect with other humans might be better than any escapism.
 
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prudis

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When it comes to experiences I think I'm more saying that it doesn't have to be grand traveling adventures, but any real experience, trying to connect with other humans might be better than any escapism.
it might it might not as everything in life there is lot of variables and everyones experiences stuff differently,

as been said above moderation is the key factor here, Even trying to connect with other humans too much might bite you back
 
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