|OT| Thought puzzle - which game could YOU survive?

[low-G]

Earlier today I was playing some classic Doom in VR on Ultra Violence, just admiring my own marksmanship and general skill with the game. I was noting how in VR it's a bit easier to kill baddies as you can blind fire around corners (helpful when you know where the enemies are before they see you), and you can tilt the basic shotgun to achieve a vertical spread etc etc.

I was thinking if I got really REALLY lucky I could probably survive UV just as my human self. I would have to make sure I never got hit by a single hitscan bullet though. Doomguy can soak em up but I probably can't. Presumably when I pick up armor in the game, that could protect me against some damage. I don't recall any big drops you have to take in classic Doom either (that would kill a normal human but not even hurt Doomguy). Also, obviously, Doomguy can literally move over 90mph, so evading enemies chasing would be even harder.

Then I thought: What other games could we, humans, with only the practical skills we have in reality survive? Super Mario is completely out of the question because he can jump distances we simply can't, and he can fall much further. No human could survive in Mario's role.

I thought of a few that would probably be pretty easy: Pikmin. Since the Pikmin are tiny and most of the enemies are like bird-size at most, a human would have a trivial time accomplishing most of the goals. Marble Madness is also a pretty abstract answer and I'm not sure if it fits. Since this question is about YOUR HUMAN BODY surviving a game, I'm not sure if you can apply that toward a marble. Maybe you could say, just pick up the marble and put it at the goal...


I don't know if this is a great thread idea but I had a lot of fun thinking about what games human me might survive...

So what games might YOU survive? If the game requires marksmanship with firearms, that must be a skill YOU possess. Same for anything that requires climbing. None of us are Lara Croft. We would die. I'll make an exception though. If there are skills innate to the character, such as shooting out bursts of magic or knowing how to use technical tools such as a hacking device or other augmentations, you can get those augmentations. Gordon Freeman's HEV suit is fair game.

 

[lashman]

So what games might YOU survive?

Solitaire (and even then i'm not 100% sure i would)

 

[Wibblewozzer]

I'm kind of surviving every open world game every day. Unless you mean I'm meant to take on the task of the main character. In which case I'd die right away since my aiming would be less precise and depending on where I'm shot I may only be able to take a single hit.

I could survive The Witness since it's all just using touch screens and walking around.

Tokyo Jungle I feel I'd survive for a while. I don't recall what the ultimate goal was but I could keep myself separated from most of the more dangerous animals well enough in an urban environment. I'm sure I could find food and water as well. Somewhere down the road I bet I'd get taken out by something like a wildcat or wolf pack that I couldn't get away from.

 

[low-G]

I'm kind of surviving every open world game every day. Unless you mean I'm meant to take on the task of the main character. In which case I'd die right away since my aiming would be less precise and depending on where I'm shot I may only be able to take a single hit.

I could survive The Witness since it's all just using touch screens and walking around.

Tokyo Jungle I feel I'd survive for a while. I don't recall what the ultimate goal was but I could keep myself separated from most of the more dangerous animals well enough in an urban environment. I'm sure I could find food and water as well. Somewhere down the road I bet I'd get taken out by something like a wildcat or wolf pack that I couldn't get away from.

Yeah I mean specifically your human self, as you are now, taking on the task of the MC. But the aiming of your opponents would be exactly as they are in the game. You'd be playing the game challenge. A lot of games have opponents with unrealistically poor aim.

I can't recall, do you ever have to fall more than a few feet in The Witness? Broken legs would count as not being able to finish.

With Tokyo Jungle, you would have to fight in that world as a human. There are a lot of tough creatures that you have to kill, so anyone's survival of that game would be pretty darn low.

 

[Wibblewozzer]

Nah, no falls in The Witness. At least none that I can recall. I don't think feet ever leave the ground since I think it's all ramps between things and elevators.

And in Tokyo Jungle what is the end goal? I know you worked towards unlocking larger animals but was there a final animal that was considered a winner? I figure it's still Earth with no other humans so I could still survive with food and water I find/salvage and I'm sure there are plenty of weapons that could be found if I creep around carefully while I stock up. Just because humans have all died doesn't mean they took all the guns with them. With some salvaged weapons and even if I bear comes for me I feel like I could climb away or close and lock doors to put something between and then fire on it from elsewhere. Wolves and wildcats are where I still think I'd have a tough time since they stalk and can strike with a greater element of surprise.

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

Joke answer: My Summer Car.
I know just enough about cars to build a crappy, dangerous jalopy and drive it drunk around the mosquito infested Finnish countryside flipping people off.
I'd need Nahkapukki as a translator but aside from that, i'd manage.


I'd be wolf poop within minutes if i was in UnReal World though.

 

[low-G]

Nah, no falls in The Witness. At least none that I can recall. I don't think feet ever leave the ground since I think it's all ramps between things and elevators.

And in Tokyo Jungle what is the end goal? I know you worked towards unlocking larger animals but was there a final animal that was considered a winner? I figure it's still Earth with no other humans so I could still survive with food and water I find/salvage and I'm sure there are plenty of weapons that could be found if I creep around carefully while I stock up. Just because humans have all died doesn't mean they took all the guns with them. With some salvaged weapons and even if I bear comes for me I feel like I could climb away or close and lock doors to put something between and then fire on it from elsewhere. Wolves and wildcats are where I still think I'd have a tough time since they stalk and can strike with a greater element of surprise.

I never finished Tokyo Jungle so I dunno, got pretty far. I was heading through sewers last I recall. I mean it's Japan, so finding a firearm will be a bit harder. Maybe head to the closest military base or police station ASAP. Hopefully not all locked in gun cabinets without a key.

It would have been pretty hard to nail down the rules of this thought puzzle anyways, but I was thinking something more explicitly following the path and objectives of the game in question. No crossing invisible boundaries or summoning things that aren't in the game at all.

But the rules need not matter because it's interesting how some game protagonists that aren't really considered 'super human' are actually doing insanely impossible things, and interesting how we might be able to break the rules with different degrees of breaking the bounds of the game (like shooting around corners in Doom).

Joke answer: My Summer Car.
I know just enough about cars to build a crappy, dangerous jalopy and drive it drunk around the mosquito infested Finnish countryside flipping people off.
I'd need Nahkapukki as a translator but aside from that, i'd manage.


I'd be wolf poop within minutes if i was in UnReal World though.

Technically you could say something even safer like one of those car mechanic sims... Or how about Football Manager. You might get fired but you're not likely to get killed...

 

[Nahkapukki]

Joke answer: My Summer Car.
I know just enough about cars to build a crappy, dangerous jalopy and drive it drunk around the mosquito infested Finnish countryside flipping people off.
I'd need Nahkapukki as a translator but aside from that, i'd manage.


I'd be wolf poop within minutes if i was in UnReal World though.

I approve this message. And since living as a basic Finn is terrible and hard I can safely say I'm badass enough to survive DOOM.

 

[Prodigy]

I want to say prince of persia, In one game you can rewind time so even if i made a mistake I could undo it, or in the other series some one would save me no matter what. Although that feels like cheating with none of my skills.

So real answer would be Alan wake, I would shit my pants, but I think a combination light and weapons would help and the fact that the enemies don't shoot back would be in my favor.

 

[Hektor]

The Zero Escape games obviously. Solved all thr puzzles without guides.

I WILL ESCAPE

 

[low-G]

The Zero Escape games obviously. Solved all thr puzzles without guides.

I WILL ESCAPE

For my puzzle I'd consider rote memorization of a puzzle game fair game, although if you're up for living in some unreleased title, by all means,

With 999 I worry that my slow ass would get shut behind some door and blow up even if I knew all the puzzles in the whole world.

I want to say prince of persia, In one game you can rewind time so even if i made a mistake I could undo it, or in the other series some one would save me no matter what. Although that feels like cheating with none of my skills.

So real answer would be Alan wake, I would shit my pants, but I think a combination light and weapons would help and the fact that the enemies don't shoot back would be in my favor.

Yeah it's only fair if rewind time is part of the game, you'd have that power even postmortem! Although there's a lot of Prince of Persia jumps and muscle-ups (and gymnastics in later titles) that I'm doubtful any one of us is fit enough to survive even if we rewind time infinite times.

Alan Wake is a decent pick.

 

[SSPssp]

I might take forever but I think I could survive Katamari Damacy! Just keep rolling around and around!

 

[Wibblewozzer]

I might take forever but I think I could survive Katamari Damacy! Just keep rolling around and around!

I applaud your strength to roll a ball made of humans, buildings, mountains, etc.!

 

[RionaaM]

I was thinking Ace Attorney, but with my luck I'd probably be declared guilty and sentenced to death, or be a murder victim (hopefully Phoenix wins that case). Maybe Gran Turismo or any other realistic racer without a dark storyline? I could always drive slowly, or refuse to race and get another job.

I want to say prince of persia, In one game you can rewind time so even if i made a mistake I could undo it, or in the other series some one would save me no matter what. Although that feels like cheating with none of my skills.

So real answer would be Alan wake, I would shit my pants, but I think a combination light and weapons would help and the fact that the enemies don't shoot back would be in my favor.

For Sands of Time your reaction time should be close to zero, otherwise you'd be dead long before you even think of using the dagger to rewind.

The Zero Escape games obviously. Solved all thr puzzles without guides.

I WILL ESCAPE

Same here, although I'm not an esper. Also, some choices in ZTD had random outcomes, so I'm not sure I'd live to tell the tale.

For my puzzle I'd consider rote memorization of a puzzle game fair game, although if you're up for living in some unreleased title, by all means,

With 999 I worry that my slow ass would get shut behind some door and blow up even if I knew all the puzzles in the whole world.

That, or you could be stuck in one of the paths to a bad ending. Or lose several times at the AB Game and die.

 

[Le Pertti]

Better question is, which game would I LIKE to survive? Only answer is all those hentai VNs,

 

[EdwardTivrusky]

Too many tentacles/10 - That's a nope from me!

 

[Le Pertti]

Too many tentacles/10 - That's a nope from me!

Hmh, ok maybe not ALL hentai VNs.XD

 

[TheVectronic]

Solitaire (and even then i'm not 100% sure i would)

I thnk you'll get crushed by the cards as they fall before you can try again...