I did make a huge mistake didn't I? So I have this complicated situation, or had. Where I had two important people in my life.
One I had dated but we became friends since she didn't want to date while she had uncertain legal status here in France, so we continued as friends and became very good and close friends. But my interest in her was always romantic and I told her that and it came to the point where I was in love with her. We had a good long talk about all of that and the key point I had to learn was that she didn't see me "like that", which she didn't even realise until we went over how she got interested in men in her past relationships. So I decided to say goodbye since the only outcome to our relationship was heartbreak since we would never be what I hoped. The goodbye was not a dramatic abrupt one, but we spent the day together, had good talks, ate together and such. She tried to keep texting me the day after but I explained that every time she did that it gave me hope, which it did.
The other one was someone from my past that suddenly came into my life again and we started hooking up. I was madly in love with her in the past and now that she was back the feelings came back. The problem was that she had a fiance(open relationship) and that she would never be with me the way I wanted. The more we were together the more my heart broke. So with her I decided it was better to also say goodbye and again it actually was a really good day, we went and saw the new Thor movie, when some of the best sex we ever had and then after go out to eat. After I saw her off at the metro during the night I kept getting text about how she loves me.
Now I know I made the right choice, the mature choice. Distancing myself from relationships that either were unhealthy or could become unhealthy, that I need to make space for someone that can be my person. But why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like I made the worst mistake of my life? Saying goodbye to two amazing people.