|OT| Dating Thread | One right swap at the time

[fantomena]

I miss dating, this pandemic is locking down all sorts of events around where I live. Can't go out at all.

 

[Monooboe]

I admit, I do sneak out to meet dates even with lockdown.

 

[NarohDethan]

I actually would prefer a girlfriend that's a bit older than me too, ideally like 1-4 years, so you are not alone!

I just want the ara ara man

 

[Monooboe]

What I've found between older and younger women is that the younger are more direct and they just go for it while the older often do shit tests, play mindgames.

 

[Hektor]

What I've found between older and younger women is that the younger are more direct and they just go for it while the older often do shit tests, play mindgames.

As someone who is really bad at reading signs, people like that would go straight into the trash

I just want the ara ara man

Understandable King

 

[Monooboe]

Ugh, just as I've been in a shitty place after all my dating has gone, not badly, but to nothing in a way, the last one really hurt, it was fiery passion for the first moment, after hooking up a couple of times she completely disappeared. And now this evening my ex from summer calls me and she also really hurt me.

And now going into the holidays alone really fucking sucks.

 

[Monooboe]

Soooooo Hektor , what's going on? You haven't been updating us!

 

[Monooboe]

Well ehm

[Hidden content]

Worst case for now, gonna be a long two weeks until i find out.

That sounds great! Her saying she would come and give it in person is a good sign.

 

[Monooboe]

I have started to understand my problem, I think I come of very strong, like often that someone pretty much falls for me on the first date, as I mentioned a few weeks ago the date dragged me into the forest to hook up on the first date haha! But it seems they "fall out of me" pretty much on the second date.

And on Saturday I had another date with a new one and she seems to be really into me, saying she knew the moment she saw me and I really like her too but I'm worried that the next time we meet it will be as usual that she falls out.

 

[Monooboe]

Hektor I know how you feel and how strongly you believe it, but I have felt exactly like that about several and every time I thought it would never happen again.

 

[Monooboe]

Yea i think its very different for you and me becaude it happens very rarely that i can connect this well to a person at all, let alone someone who shares exactly the same interests as i and who is also so immensely attractive

Like no hyperbole, id sacrifice an arm for her

That's what I'm saying, it's not different, I have many times felt exactly like that. But yes you are right also that it is very rare, but what I wanted to say is that it isn't once in a life kind of thing. I used to think it was but I'm old now.XD

 

[Monooboe]

First Christmas in I don't know how long that I don't spend alone! Think I might be in love.

 

[Li Kao]

Good, solid update from our German agent.
No, seriously, good to see everything is moving in a good direction.

edit
Wait, the girl wrote you a four page letter ? Nod silently, good direction indeed.

 

[Monooboe]

Think might have found the one. She came and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day with me. Today she took me to see her god father and she said she was nervous, which seems like a good sign.

 

[Wok]

 

[Monooboe]

Haha not exactly, more like that she is Nigerian and doesn't have her real family here, but does have a "god parents" in a way.

 

[Rosenkrantz]

Ugh, so I have a crush on a girl (pretty rare for me tbh) but I'm 99.9% sure it's a one sided highway. We talked for like 10 minutes today, and half of the conversation she was on a phone using whatsapp or showing me clips on Instagram. I'm not a complete idiot, I know what it means, but I can't move on. I'm not sure if I should ask her out straight on (just for closure) or just drop whatever relationship we have now completely? I don't want it to be awkward for her because we work together and will be at the same place for at least some time.

 

[Monooboe]

Rosenkrantz Being direct is always good, just saying you are interested and curious if she would like to go out. BUT! Working in the same place makes it tricky, personally I would stay cool just because of that, maybe re-evaluate if you get closer down the road.

 

[Rosenkrantz]

Rosenkrantz Being direct is always good, just saying you are interested and curious if she would like to go out. BUT! Working in the same place makes it tricky, personally I would stay cool just because of that, maybe re-evaluate if you get closer down the road.

I don't think that work will be a problem, because I have no intention of stalking her if she says no and ain't gonna turn it into a big deal.

I'm just tired of being in agony and I hate myself for being unable to move on for a few weeks now and keep coming back to her with some dumbass conversations. I asked if I bore her and she said no, I wish she was less polite and more direct because it would've been easier for me to swallow. Oh well, I guess I'll just ask her directly to finish this misery.

 

[Monooboe]

Hektor You don't need to block her, just delete her from your contacts, unfollow, unfriend. But yes it's safe to assume that anything else than a 'hell yeah" is a no. And don't go into a friendship when you want more, just take some distance and if she tries to be friends just tell her that you can't since you feel more and it would be destructive to pursue a friendship. The same as no one is entitled to romantic relationships no one is entitled to friendship.

 

[Monooboe]

I think you're misunderstanding that last part a bit, it's not about wether or not she feels entitled to a friendship, it's moreso that, when someone like her extends her hand to me in friendship, i'm really in no position to decline such an offer.

long, long story, but after my best friends suicide some years ago, and the succeeding drama among the rest, i basically stopped having IRL friends and fell into a real big hole that i've been working myself out of, as such, i just can't decline friendships with great people like her.

Ah yes I didn't mean she feels entitled to it, it was more that you shouldn't feel any obligation for that and if she has a problem with you not wanting to be friends then that is when she feels entitled to it and thats not alright.

I understand your position about not feeling you can say no to friendship but since you clearly want more it will be hell for you and in a scenario like that friendship will be impossible, so better to take distance and when the feelings have cooled off then maybe you can see if friendship is possible.

 

[Monooboe]

I've managed to be over a month with my current girlfriend! Long time since I managed to stay that long with someone haha. There is some friction in this "getting to know each other" phase but overall she seems to be committed.

 

[Wok]

I don't really know what to do.

Stop thinking about her. It is over. Find other great people.

better to take distance and when the feelings have cooled off then maybe you can see if friendship is possible

This.

 

[Li Kao]

Don't let these shitty thoughts take hold ! There is absolutely no reason to think no great girl is for you. The issue if finding her.

Spoiler

Unless you are an Anime fan

edit - I'm not satisfied of my post. Let's put it another way, I'm alone and fear I will end up alone, and even I am pretty sure there are great girls for me (and that I could be great for them, duh). Like I said, it's a 'meeting her' problem in a world where people barely take a look at others.
And that's without speaking about the fact you are pretty fixated on her still, you are not in a place where your brain acknowledges those other great girls.

 

[Monooboe]

I swear this happens everytime I tell the world that I'm in a relationship, the moment I do, it starts to fall apart.