|OT| Dating Thread | One right swap at the time

fantomena

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Dec 17, 2018
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I miss dating, this pandemic is locking down all sorts of events around where I live. Can't go out at all. :(
 
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Monooboe

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Ugh, just as I've been in a shitty place after all my dating has gone, not badly, but to nothing in a way, the last one really hurt, it was fiery passion for the first moment, after hooking up a couple of times she completely disappeared. And now this evening my ex from summer calls me and she also really hurt me.

And now going into the holidays alone really fucking sucks.
 

Monooboe

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I have started to understand my problem, I think I come of very strong, like often that someone pretty much falls for me on the first date, as I mentioned a few weeks ago the date dragged me into the forest to hook up on the first date haha! But it seems they "fall out of me" pretty much on the second date.

And on Saturday I had another date with a new one and she seems to be really into me, saying she knew the moment she saw me and I really like her too but I'm worried that the next time we meet it will be as usual that she falls out.
 
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Monooboe

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Yea i think its very different for you and me becaude it happens very rarely that i can connect this well to a person at all, let alone someone who shares exactly the same interests as i and who is also so immensely attractive

Like no hyperbole, id sacrifice an arm for her
That's what I'm saying, it's not different, I have many times felt exactly like that. But yes you are right also that it is very rare, but what I wanted to say is that it isn't once in a life kind of thing. I used to think it was but I'm old now.XD
 
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Li Kao

It’s a strange world. Let’s keep it that way.
Jan 28, 2019
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Good, solid update from our German agent.
No, seriously, good to see everything is moving in a good direction.

edit
Wait, the girl wrote you a four page letter ? Nod silently, good direction indeed.
 
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Rosenkrantz

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Apr 22, 2019
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Ugh, so I have a crush on a girl (pretty rare for me tbh) but I'm 99.9% sure it's a one sided highway. We talked for like 10 minutes today, and half of the conversation she was on a phone using whatsapp or showing me clips on Instagram. I'm not a complete idiot, I know what it means, but I can't move on. I'm not sure if I should ask her out straight on (just for closure) or just drop whatever relationship we have now completely? I don't want it to be awkward for her because we work together and will be at the same place for at least some time.
 
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Rosenkrantz

Once Punched Man
Apr 22, 2019
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Rosenkrantz Being direct is always good, just saying you are interested and curious if she would like to go out. BUT! Working in the same place makes it tricky, personally I would stay cool just because of that, maybe re-evaluate if you get closer down the road.
I don't think that work will be a problem, because I have no intention of stalking her if she says no and ain't gonna turn it into a big deal.

I'm just tired of being in agony and I hate myself for being unable to move on for a few weeks now and keep coming back to her with some dumbass conversations. I asked if I bore her and she said no, I wish she was less polite and more direct because it would've been easier for me to swallow. Oh well, I guess I'll just ask her directly to finish this misery.
 
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Monooboe

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Hektor You don't need to block her, just delete her from your contacts, unfollow, unfriend. But yes it's safe to assume that anything else than a 'hell yeah" is a no. And don't go into a friendship when you want more, just take some distance and if she tries to be friends just tell her that you can't since you feel more and it would be destructive to pursue a friendship. The same as no one is entitled to romantic relationships no one is entitled to friendship.
 

Monooboe

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I think you're misunderstanding that last part a bit, it's not about wether or not she feels entitled to a friendship, it's moreso that, when someone like her extends her hand to me in friendship, i'm really in no position to decline such an offer.

long, long story, but after my best friends suicide some years ago, and the succeeding drama among the rest, i basically stopped having IRL friends and fell into a real big hole that i've been working myself out of, as such, i just can't decline friendships with great people like her.
Ah yes I didn't mean she feels entitled to it, it was more that you shouldn't feel any obligation for that and if she has a problem with you not wanting to be friends then that is when she feels entitled to it and thats not alright.

I understand your position about not feeling you can say no to friendship but since you clearly want more it will be hell for you and in a scenario like that friendship will be impossible, so better to take distance and when the feelings have cooled off then maybe you can see if friendship is possible.
 

Monooboe

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I've managed to be over a month with my current girlfriend! Long time since I managed to stay that long with someone haha. There is some friction in this "getting to know each other" phase but overall she seems to be committed.
 
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Li Kao

It’s a strange world. Let’s keep it that way.
Jan 28, 2019
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Don't let these shitty thoughts take hold ! There is absolutely no reason to think no great girl is for you. The issue if finding her.
Unless you are an Anime fan :face-with-stuck-out-tongue-and-tightly-closed-eyes:

edit - I'm not satisfied of my post. Let's put it another way, I'm alone and fear I will end up alone, and even I am pretty sure there are great girls for me (and that I could be great for them, duh). Like I said, it's a 'meeting her' problem in a world where people barely take a look at others.
And that's without speaking about the fact you are pretty fixated on her still, you are not in a place where your brain acknowledges those other great girls.
 
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NarohDethan

NarohDethan

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Apr 6, 2019
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I guess people are starting to go out more because matches are drying up fast xD
 
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Monooboe

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Finally did it, broke up with my girlfriend, the amount of lies became just too much. She even was using dating apps behind my back so yeah. She even called me day after and acted like nothing has happened.

But yeah I'm back at dating apps and this was my phone yesterday when starting out.




 
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Monooboe

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[Hidden content]
Yeah that does come of as a red flag, doing anything in secret in a relationship especially that involves something like that isn't good. Impossible to say anything for sure, maybe they keep it a secret because as you said they have been strongly against it and don't want to come off as hypocritical or maybe they were strongly against such things because they were projecting.
 

Wok

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[Hidden content]
It is hard to tell without context.

"Secret" could be:
  • because they know the other one has tendency to be jealous and imagine bad things when there is none,
  • or because bad things happen.
Also, it depends on how long they have known each other. For instance, if the other person is a childhood friend, I think it is more likely to be an innocent relationship. If they have just met each other on a dating app, then that is another story.

This is all assuming that you put "friend" in quotation marks, because of suspicion. If you have evidence, then I join Monooboe about the hypocrisy.
 

Monooboe

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I had the weirdest meeting, went to see someone and I have learned that tits are smell really bad!XD she a big ones and kept wanting me to suck on them and yeah I did but man made me want to vomit.

Turns out she was in student housing so I’m pretty sure that if I get Covid it is now. Since Parisian students are the worst when it comes to that.

Also, she seemed little ehm how to say this, “slow”.

I have never felt so uncomfortable going home to someone. I just had to stop and leave.XD
 

Monooboe

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Since Tinder now has that you can for free jump around the world I thought I would give that a try and wow my matches and likes have skyrocketed!

Also my experience

How I find Parisians


I jumped around a few African counties and Nigerian and Ivorian women
 
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