Yeah I can understand that feeling, I feel that now about my weight, like how the hell did I allow myself to gain all that weight again, and especially why would I do that to myself.Can't say it feels like regret or anything, but more like "How did I even get here and why?"
I did but because I moved my old psychologist doesn't want to see me anymore and in my new district they can't take me on since they don't have free space, so Ive tried to go to a place where one has to pay a symbolic amount but the one I had didn't really do anything other than just listen and pretty much forgot what I had said between weeks. But I will meet a new one next week so hoping it will be better.[Hidden content]
Never force your heart to do anything. Always be open and honest with it.Give me the pistol, aim it high
I'm out in the desert shooting at the sky
Mental (Logic) me
Heart (Emotional) me
These two are at odds again and I'm struggling to keep myself "on the level" at an extremely important juncture in my life. There is a bajillion things happening right now in my life (literally just narrowly avoided being homeless) and my heart is being a big baby bitch over a relationship with two friends. Not technically romantic, at best I'm a Hanekawa in the relationship between an Araragi and a Senjougahara. Meanwhile my brain struggles to bonk my heart back in place and deal with things that will delineate and shape my immediate and near future.
Mental me knows I need to buckle up and stay the course.
Heart me is ready to just crumble, even though I thought I hardened the fuck up with a year away from these people.
... but in the end, I come back and they're the same, everything I loved about them and made me fall for them in the first place. It's still there. I never fell out of love. I just bottled it up the whole time.
I'm sorry this is vague as fuck. It's more of a vent anyway sorry.
Isn’t that kind of a good thing? Because that is how the body works, it will fight like that against change, it won’t stay like that.The longest I go sober is like 2-3 days.
Sucks, the days I'm sober I'm just counting down the days working and being annoyed, I've been doing some walking but still, I have 0 motivation to do anything and wish I stayed asleep whenever I open my eyes.