Support Come and load off your mental struggles
- Thread starter freshVeggie
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My wife tested positive on Covid-19 today. Luckily my daughter and I are negative (for now), but I do feel bad for my wife that she has to live in other rooms for the next 10 days. 
Hearbreak sucks. I wish I could detach myself from my feelings completely.
Just have to get it off my chest, as things continue to go from bad to worse.
A couple days ago my cat died (of cancer), and then my mom was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. I've had a cold for a few days. Small things keep going wrong. And I'm just barely hanging out at this point.
A couple days ago my cat died (of cancer), and then my mom was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. I've had a cold for a few days. Small things keep going wrong. And I'm just barely hanging out at this point.
It's not really a mental struggle although it's overall not pleasant, it could have gone in the random thought thread, but I guess there is no reason to only post heavy stuff here.
We finally have cool weather in France. I mean we had it before but it came and went fast, this one feels it could lasts a little.
So three things it evokes in me right now...
Boardgames
A little out of nowhere but I guess I'm more in the mood when the landscape doesn't put me to tears. Life is coming back, motherfuckers. Let's share the joy !
Summer evenings
Oh, the evening torpor on a patio, just chilling at the ideal temp, with... you know what, the cherry on top: newborn birds nesting under the patio's roof.
Grill
I fucking hate my apartment with every fiber of my being, if only for the fact I can't grill anymore. I live for a good BBQ and Rosé wine or Anisette.
5+ years without that, I don't know how I can even function anymore, that's how precious it is to me. But well, try renting a house surrounded by some nature for a reasonable price.
And just to be clear, it's not all roses and candy.
We finally have cool weather in France. I mean we had it before but it came and went fast, this one feels it could lasts a little.
So three things it evokes in me right now...
Boardgames
A little out of nowhere but I guess I'm more in the mood when the landscape doesn't put me to tears. Life is coming back, motherfuckers. Let's share the joy !
Summer evenings
Oh, the evening torpor on a patio, just chilling at the ideal temp, with... you know what, the cherry on top: newborn birds nesting under the patio's roof.
Grill
I fucking hate my apartment with every fiber of my being, if only for the fact I can't grill anymore. I live for a good BBQ and Rosé wine or Anisette.
5+ years without that, I don't know how I can even function anymore, that's how precious it is to me. But well, try renting a house surrounded by some nature for a reasonable price.
And just to be clear, it's not all roses and candy.
I miss my father, I miss my house, I miss my life.
I keep saying I'll find something fun to do everyday but I just spend my time sleeping and work. I can't really blame working either because I'm not a hard working person, I just get by so I can go back to sleep and I don't want to wake up.
I've been stuck in a rut for a while now and only thing I enjoy is looking forward to drinking in my spare time, I'm scared I'm just gonna become more and more of a nuisance and not to mention it's a big money sink, I just don't have any drive or motivation to do anything. I sometimes look at old junk I used to do but honestly it wasn't like I had much passion back then either and I just remember my youth being just a mess, I tried to bruteforce it but I was just a talentless hack that wasted all those time for nothing, and it led to me being burned out. Over the last year I thought I had it figured out and will start anew, learn new things, etc, things aren't hard as long as I put my heart into it, right, but here I am out of gas again and my brain just refuse to cooperate.
I wish I could just enjoy things, I did for a bit but everything becomes disappointing fast.
I've been stuck in a rut for a while now and only thing I enjoy is looking forward to drinking in my spare time, I'm scared I'm just gonna become more and more of a nuisance and not to mention it's a big money sink, I just don't have any drive or motivation to do anything. I sometimes look at old junk I used to do but honestly it wasn't like I had much passion back then either and I just remember my youth being just a mess, I tried to bruteforce it but I was just a talentless hack that wasted all those time for nothing, and it led to me being burned out. Over the last year I thought I had it figured out and will start anew, learn new things, etc, things aren't hard as long as I put my heart into it, right, but here I am out of gas again and my brain just refuse to cooperate.
I wish I could just enjoy things, I did for a bit but everything becomes disappointing fast.
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A lot of crazier and crazier (bad) stuff started to happen in recent weeks. I actually started to disassociate a bit. Then I got hit by a windfall of about $10K U.S. and things started to stabilize a bit. In a way this actually enhances my disassociation a bit, but at least it's good things. In fact, it's the first objectively large good thing that has happened for/around me in a couple of years.
Yeah there were smaller good things (like being able to preorder a PS5 early on, eventually landing a 3080, buying our current home at a relative (for the market) bargain without many unexpected issues), and the last really big one prior to that was getting my current job. But 10k out of nowhere is definitely way up there.
I mean this to be a reply to this from a few months ago specifically:
My mood is still pretty terrible. I mean the money will go towards things we need, but it's not like I want anything either. To that end, I can't think of a single thing I'd buy if you offered me (apart from really huge, unrealistic purchases like a butler for life or a mega mansion or another vehicle (which we need)).
Yeah there were smaller good things (like being able to preorder a PS5 early on, eventually landing a 3080, buying our current home at a relative (for the market) bargain without many unexpected issues), and the last really big one prior to that was getting my current job. But 10k out of nowhere is definitely way up there.
I mean this to be a reply to this from a few months ago specifically:
My mood is still pretty terrible. I mean the money will go towards things we need, but it's not like I want anything either. To that end, I can't think of a single thing I'd buy if you offered me (apart from really huge, unrealistic purchases like a butler for life or a mega mansion or another vehicle (which we need)).
I hate posting my little money issues after those posts, but I can't help feeling it's better located here than in the 'Something irrelevant' thread. If it is confirmed, and it will, companies who bill you are always right, we are fucked sideways.
So yeah , money was better for 5-6 months, not great but I discovered the joy of not using overdraft. Life was not that bad.
Then yesterday we went to the local supermarket for food and everything has augmented to the point I felt stunned. 200 euros and we didn't even buy meat. What will it be for a full course, motherfuckers ?
But the cherry on top was late, today I receive a mail from my energy provider, our monthly bill is going from 118 to 192. Now, with the world in the state it's in, an augmentation is no surprise, and I would hate to be whining about it on paper. But MOTHERFUCKERS that's, steep is not even the right word here.
Gas went from 76 t 150 a month. Just nearly doubled.
So yeah , money was better for 5-6 months, not great but I discovered the joy of not using overdraft. Life was not that bad.
Then yesterday we went to the local supermarket for food and everything has augmented to the point I felt stunned. 200 euros and we didn't even buy meat. What will it be for a full course, motherfuckers ?
But the cherry on top was late, today I receive a mail from my energy provider, our monthly bill is going from 118 to 192. Now, with the world in the state it's in, an augmentation is no surprise, and I would hate to be whining about it on paper. But MOTHERFUCKERS that's, steep is not even the right word here.
Gas went from 76 t 150 a month. Just nearly doubled.
You're not kidding. Prices for food and energy have gone up wildly here in the US too. Gasoline is several times more expensive than it was during Covid. Food prices have kept ratcheting up. Now I'm hearing our natural gas prices will increase by about 50% in a months' time, and where I live you can't even switch providers. I (think) I was able to lock in 1 year of a highly discounted electricity price, similarly those costs around here are going up almost 50% at the end of the month otherwise...
I guess energy costs are one thing that isn't just inflation and gouging, because my employer is probably also being hit with extra costs in these specific ways (so it's not like I can say 'hey give me a 50% raise!')
Yeah, I’ve been hit by energy hikes too.
Went up £600 since last year. Expecting it to raise another £800 by October. Over 12 months it’s not horrendous, but if I was in my old job we’d be really struggling now.
Getting a 5% pay raise next month but that’s going to be eaten up entirely by the energy hikes.
Don’t even want to talk about food costs. It’s disgusting.
Meanwhile these companies post bumper profits and shareholders get richer. Time to nationalise this shit and let the good times absorb the costs of the bad times, rather than siphoning the profits off to shareholders.
Phoenix RISING
A phoenix always RISES!
I have come to realize that while I don't have chronic anxiety problems, the democracy spiraling toward collapse in the US does weigh heavily on my mind.
You know, screaming internally.
Guess we'll see at midterms if Roe v Wade being overturned will actually make half of all white women in the US not vote against their own interests. Then again, I hadn't looked to see if there's an age divide in that demographic. Not that it matters; the result is the same.
And that's before I discuss how I came to realize that "god" and "gun" begin with the same letter, and only require three letters each.
Or how a white guy can murder ppl during the 4th of July and be taken alive, while a black man that same weekend is shot 60 times for running from the police.
Or every update from Uvalde on how shitty the police are.
Or Biden being a weaksauce president.
And so on.
And these are things I know even after shutting off the news.
You know, screaming internally.
Guess we'll see at midterms if Roe v Wade being overturned will actually make half of all white women in the US not vote against their own interests. Then again, I hadn't looked to see if there's an age divide in that demographic. Not that it matters; the result is the same.
And that's before I discuss how I came to realize that "god" and "gun" begin with the same letter, and only require three letters each.
Or how a white guy can murder ppl during the 4th of July and be taken alive, while a black man that same weekend is shot 60 times for running from the police.
Or every update from Uvalde on how shitty the police are.
Or Biden being a weaksauce president.
And so on.
And these are things I know even after shutting off the news.
I've long since left complaining about regional pricing
But when I see bad pricing, my blood boils and my head goes in a stressful dark place
Even though I'm earning now
It's stressful, a lot
But when I see bad pricing, my blood boils and my head goes in a stressful dark place
Even though I'm earning now
It's stressful, a lot
My 9yo daughter's teacher unexpectedly died yesterday during his holiday in Spain. Telling her this news was so hard for me, because I knew how sad it would make her. I'm sad about it as well, that guy was the best teacher ever. He never came to school without his guitar...
Good teachers are so rare. Some of my most cherished school memories (of which there are very few) involve inspirational, funny, authentic and passionate teachers. You learn more from them in one lesson than a mediocre teacher will teach in a year.
Sorry to hear you had to give your daughter this news.
Absolutely FANTASTIC news ! Couldn’t have asked for a better one just before goin to bed.
I have the worst social worker and I think she is going to fuck up my case that will make it that I loose all my rights. And its stressing me out quite a bit. Hell she even said "she knew she was mean" when she took away my right to social restaurant. So I can't get good meals. Thankfully I have my rice cooker and lots of rice and pasta stored!
Also Its only half to the month and have zero money. Maybe a thing like that motivates most people but for me it completely demoralises me to that extent that I again only see suicide as inevitable. My old psychologist refuses to see me because I had to take a break during my studies last year, they direct me to my local mental health place but they say they will never have time for me and they send me to some other organisation but missed calls and stuff like that and it just became too much.
I know I can go into some very pessimistic places in my head but I keep failing at life so its hard not to.
Also Its only half to the month and have zero money. Maybe a thing like that motivates most people but for me it completely demoralises me to that extent that I again only see suicide as inevitable. My old psychologist refuses to see me because I had to take a break during my studies last year, they direct me to my local mental health place but they say they will never have time for me and they send me to some other organisation but missed calls and stuff like that and it just became too much.
I know I can go into some very pessimistic places in my head but I keep failing at life so its hard not to.
Why did the POS cut your tickets ? You aren’t looking hard enough for a job ?
Said I had too much money monthly. Weird since I only have the minimum that the others at the restaurant also had. But yes I think she is trying to motivate me to find work, the only thing she has helped me with the last year, is to ask me once a month if I have looked for work. Completely ignoring the plan I and the last social worker set in motion and with pole emploi.
My entire friendsgroup has fallen apart again.
Starting with this one peron i've loved who hates me and now has blocked me everywhere because she had the habit of interpreting everything i did in the most negatively possible manner. (Like accusing me of ignoring her, when i simply didnt hear her and many such similar things) creating constant drama in the process.
The person she's started to date for obvious reasons aswell.
Another friend that's started to do drugs now or something and that doesnt care anymore either.
One's just constantly mad all the time now whom i had to tell that i dont want to put up with her anger issues anymore.
One who doesn't wanna talk or see me individually because "You are male and that'd be weird".
sike
I've loved these people all so much and put so much effort into them, trying to help them when they were moving homes or help them talk when they had fights, making high effort gifts for christmas and all that jizz. And now im losing them all.
when i had them i was the happiest i had ever been.
Now I'm feeling so burned up and hardly like myself anymore.
Starting with this one peron i've loved who hates me and now has blocked me everywhere because she had the habit of interpreting everything i did in the most negatively possible manner. (Like accusing me of ignoring her, when i simply didnt hear her and many such similar things) creating constant drama in the process.
The person she's started to date for obvious reasons aswell.
Another friend that's started to do drugs now or something and that doesnt care anymore either.
One's just constantly mad all the time now whom i had to tell that i dont want to put up with her anger issues anymore.
One who doesn't wanna talk or see me individually because "You are male and that'd be weird".
sike
I've loved these people all so much and put so much effort into them, trying to help them when they were moving homes or help them talk when they had fights, making high effort gifts for christmas and all that jizz. And now im losing them all.
when i had them i was the happiest i had ever been.
Now I'm feeling so burned up and hardly like myself anymore.
Hey i just want to say. Im glad i found this forum.
I'm just going to leave this little video here. maybe some of you will find it helpful.
I'm just going to leave this little video here. maybe some of you will find it helpful.
I miss my friends,
i miss'em much,
miss their voice, miss their touch,
I miss my friends,
while i drink booze,
'tis be the i miss my friends blues
i miss'em much,
miss their voice, miss their touch,
I miss my friends,
while i drink booze,
'tis be the i miss my friends blues
Same, as I wrote in the dating thread about saying good bye to two very important people in my life, the biggest thing is that they were my best friends, talk daily and hangout often so now that I took distance to them my life is so quiet and uneventful and lonely.
I’ve been on holiday this week. My girlfriend dragged me to the North of England. I was not excited because I knew the following would happen.
I’m usually happy to go on a break to somewhere new, but I always feel really uncomfortable in England. It’s like people hear my accent and all of a sudden I’m some sort of inbred Welsh monkey.
Never get this in Scotland or Ireland but as soon as you go beyond Bristol you are made to feel less and less welcome.
I put up with this for the longest time when I lived in London, but once you notice it you never un-notice it.
Of course there are some very nice people too, in fact the majority of people in England are perfectly nice, but there’s just enough at first seemingly pleasant people whose attitude turns as soon as you speak that you start to notice it.
The other unsettling thing is the amount of Union flags you see flying. Not many English flags - but lots of the Union. I guess that’s more of a Welsh hang up because that flag is seen by many as a provocation back home.
But it just made me uncomfortable to see it because for many where I live, that flag has rather different connotations to how its viewed in England.
Anyway, wanted to post this because it actually affects me quite a fair bit and reminds me of how isolated I feel when in England.
I’m usually happy to go on a break to somewhere new, but I always feel really uncomfortable in England. It’s like people hear my accent and all of a sudden I’m some sort of inbred Welsh monkey.
Never get this in Scotland or Ireland but as soon as you go beyond Bristol you are made to feel less and less welcome.
I put up with this for the longest time when I lived in London, but once you notice it you never un-notice it.
Of course there are some very nice people too, in fact the majority of people in England are perfectly nice, but there’s just enough at first seemingly pleasant people whose attitude turns as soon as you speak that you start to notice it.
The other unsettling thing is the amount of Union flags you see flying. Not many English flags - but lots of the Union. I guess that’s more of a Welsh hang up because that flag is seen by many as a provocation back home.
But it just made me uncomfortable to see it because for many where I live, that flag has rather different connotations to how its viewed in England.
Anyway, wanted to post this because it actually affects me quite a fair bit and reminds me of how isolated I feel when in England.
The North of England is very beautiful. I was in Whitby and while it has all the trappings of any resort/holiday town in the UK, there are some stunning coastal views. And English Heritage do a great job of looking after the historical sites.They're jealous of your much prettier country
I know you’re just being nice, but it really is just a “sheepshagger” mentality that some knuckle-draggers (and certainly not the majority) have. But it still makes me feel like shit.
I was hoping I’d see it less in the North because the same arseholes in South see much of the North as a skidmark on England, but alas.
It’s not like my own country doesn’t have its own anti-English sentiment, mind.
Thanks to the Russian invasion in Ukraine, electricity and natural gas is now 12 times more expensive in my country compared to last year. For me, this means I'll have to pay over €15000 a year unless the price goes down significantly. I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for this...
Meanwhile, gas companies made a profit of 56 billion dollars during the past 3 months. Capitalism is disgusting.
Meanwhile, gas companies made a profit of 56 billion dollars during the past 3 months. Capitalism is disgusting.
What’s even more insane about energy prices across Europe is that even if you use more green energy suppliers, the wholesale price is tied to whatever the greedy fucks want to sell gas for. So a nice big fuck you to renewables users.
It’s disgusting.
It’s disgusting.
Thanks to the Russian invasion in Ukraine, electricity and natural gas is now 12 times more expensive in my country compared to last year. For me, this means I'll have to pay over €15000 a year unless the price goes down significantly. I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for this...
Meanwhile, gas companies made a profit of 56 billion dollars during the past 3 months. Capitalism is disgusting.
capitalism™
I hope I get a new place to live, as I'm getting evicted this month.
Update
I moved to a new place yesterday. Still need to do some work done, but largely settled.
Really feeling relieved.
It’s that stressful time of the year when my rights are up in the air. Usually I get a letter in November that I have to renew my rights,
but didn’t get anything this year, so wrote and asked just in case. While I was waiting I got my medical right renewed automatically. So thought maybe my legal rights have changed since I lived in France five years. But then got a reply that I have to send in my renewal request! But have gotten them yet. So now it will be so delay the process that i can lose them for awhile and then have problems with all the bills.
agh why can’t I just function like a normal person and have a job.
but didn’t get anything this year, so wrote and asked just in case. While I was waiting I got my medical right renewed automatically. So thought maybe my legal rights have changed since I lived in France five years. But then got a reply that I have to send in my renewal request! But have gotten them yet. So now it will be so delay the process that i can lose them for awhile and then have problems with all the bills.
agh why can’t I just function like a normal person and have a job.
I have a small thing in terms of how it impacts me - but it's kind of complicated. It has to do a lot with how I think about strangers, and really it has been a problem all my life. Thankfully it doesn't impact me with people I'm close to very much at all.
First how it affects me online: I don't have that same desire others seem to to build a rapport or a community or whatever, although I do think of this community as an exception to a degree (and felt that way about the early Giant Bomb community, and very early Twitter). It's that I come to a place for a reason, a specific goal. Maybe it's communication about some technology or or some game etc. A lot of people go there and end up hanging out and getting close to others, forming cliques etc. It's the same everywhere online. I always run into problems' with others' egos. When I ask them a question or correct a misconception. Yeah people don't like that, but why are peoples' egos so weak that they cannot stand to learn anything? Again I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to discuss the subject.
In a lot of communities, there's really only one or two people which the community becomes to regard as the 'information expert' and they ignore all others, even if their resident expert is wrong and lies (say, like Trump or Musk, even). So people form a sort of cult or clique, and they never question it. But it happens literally everywhere. What it means for me, as someone that pops in, not wanting to make friends, and posting information, is that I get shouted down or ignored. In my mind people should interpret facts, not simply the voice that is saying them. Like use your human brain, not the lizard one.
Similar deal at my workplace, where I am particularly egoless and apart from a few people I like, I don't have any desire to get to know them better. I want to do my job and care about the work things I care about. But with a new team I'm on I've begun to encounter the same sort of thing. Thankfully, it's kind of multipolar, in that there is a sort of universal opposition and opinionated disgruntled attitude - about technologies, practices, etc. But these other guys have like 30 or 40 years experience and I can rarely impress upon them how they are wrong, until they fail three times and discover I was right, but never acknowledge that nor learn from their behavior. I am especially on edge about this because the one guy with a lot of experience, and surface level skills, but perhaps not a lot to show for it, I have learned is a home schooling antivaxer who lives in the woods surrounded by security cameras. So I particularly don't want to cozy up to this guy, I find him kind of repellent. But it reflects the same sort of egoless information driven space where I have to interact with someone with more authority but less apparent 'skill'. I guess that last bit is a very typical situation, but my way of interaction I believe is different.
I am open to being wrong when I actually am because I can learn something. But I'm not open to being called wrong simply because someone says 'It just is that way', or even worse if someone doesn't like what I'm saying [insert jesus meme here].
First how it affects me online: I don't have that same desire others seem to to build a rapport or a community or whatever, although I do think of this community as an exception to a degree (and felt that way about the early Giant Bomb community, and very early Twitter). It's that I come to a place for a reason, a specific goal. Maybe it's communication about some technology or or some game etc. A lot of people go there and end up hanging out and getting close to others, forming cliques etc. It's the same everywhere online. I always run into problems' with others' egos. When I ask them a question or correct a misconception. Yeah people don't like that, but why are peoples' egos so weak that they cannot stand to learn anything? Again I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to discuss the subject.
In a lot of communities, there's really only one or two people which the community becomes to regard as the 'information expert' and they ignore all others, even if their resident expert is wrong and lies (say, like Trump or Musk, even). So people form a sort of cult or clique, and they never question it. But it happens literally everywhere. What it means for me, as someone that pops in, not wanting to make friends, and posting information, is that I get shouted down or ignored. In my mind people should interpret facts, not simply the voice that is saying them. Like use your human brain, not the lizard one.
Similar deal at my workplace, where I am particularly egoless and apart from a few people I like, I don't have any desire to get to know them better. I want to do my job and care about the work things I care about. But with a new team I'm on I've begun to encounter the same sort of thing. Thankfully, it's kind of multipolar, in that there is a sort of universal opposition and opinionated disgruntled attitude - about technologies, practices, etc. But these other guys have like 30 or 40 years experience and I can rarely impress upon them how they are wrong, until they fail three times and discover I was right, but never acknowledge that nor learn from their behavior. I am especially on edge about this because the one guy with a lot of experience, and surface level skills, but perhaps not a lot to show for it, I have learned is a home schooling antivaxer who lives in the woods surrounded by security cameras. So I particularly don't want to cozy up to this guy, I find him kind of repellent. But it reflects the same sort of egoless information driven space where I have to interact with someone with more authority but less apparent 'skill'. I guess that last bit is a very typical situation, but my way of interaction I believe is different.
I am open to being wrong when I actually am because I can learn something. But I'm not open to being called wrong simply because someone says 'It just is that way', or even worse if someone doesn't like what I'm saying [insert jesus meme here].
I think I might be crashing a bit. The stress for the problems with my rights, being alone for Christmas, having visited family and seeing that my mother might not have long and to make it all come together I broke up with my girlfriend.
I keep going hard on myself for things like not being able to get in shape and not have a job. I keep bouncing between thinking it will never work so why bother with anything and then thinking of all the things I want to do. Just wish I didn’t keep failing at the things I try, that I actually pushed through when things got hard .
I keep going hard on myself for things like not being able to get in shape and not have a job. I keep bouncing between thinking it will never work so why bother with anything and then thinking of all the things I want to do. Just wish I didn’t keep failing at the things I try, that I actually pushed through when things got hard .
my new year goal of 2022 was to "start learning new things and stop drinking", well the year is coming to an end and I've done the opposite of that this entire year.
At the very least I think my alcohol dependency isn't super bad, I was sober for the weekdays last week and withdrawal wasn't bad, but I definitely need to quit in 2023. Finding distractions is the hardest part.
Not gonna lie but my self consciousness is my biggest enemy, I was able to do things I'm supposed to enjoy because I was drinking, I'm terribly self aware and it often make things just not enjoyable, and it definitely ruined my hobby and getting me burned out before because of this.
At the very least I think my alcohol dependency isn't super bad, I was sober for the weekdays last week and withdrawal wasn't bad, but I definitely need to quit in 2023. Finding distractions is the hardest part.
Not gonna lie but my self consciousness is my biggest enemy, I was able to do things I'm supposed to enjoy because I was drinking, I'm terribly self aware and it often make things just not enjoyable, and it definitely ruined my hobby and getting me burned out before because of this.
Anteater It is nowhere the same magnitude but I have the same with sugar, there were so many things that I enjoyed because I ate something sugary in relation to that. So it makes it very hard to stop with sugar but Ive gained 20 kgs in three years and that is not good and it's only thanks to how I use sugar as general extra positivity in my life.
oh yeah I definitely went through a phase like that, I remember eating tons of chocolate at one point while I try to be productive.
I stopped drinking for a year and a half back before covid, and like I only remember that period as me torturing myself with exercise each morning, lol, I ate well, I slept well, and as a result I also had a really toned body, to many others I was probably like super healthy and fit. I was not severly depressed or anything at the time, but it was just me always being in a "neutral" emotional state of mind because I was too occupied with my training routine. It was a lot of work just to feel "normal".
That's exactly where I am trying to force myself, to train more fanatically and stop with sugar. In my head eating fruits and being more free with normal food will compensate but I know there will be a part missing.
My tip is to not try to force yourself other than initially getting yourself out the door, if you got yourself outside and do some walking you already won, it's all about tricking yourself, you don't have to run miles, but you eventually will think "hey why not?". If you come back walking for like 10minutes or 20 minutes, that's good enough. Since you're into photography, you can probably mix that in somewhat.
The Christmas break kind of made me realize I'm low on goals and generally have nothing to look forward to. So I've been thinking of doing a similar thing as ya'll. For me that's get back in shape. I've done it before, so I know what works for me. For me, it's about mindset. If I can work myself into enough of a mental frenzy to 'accept' what I'm doing as fact, I don't think I'll have much problem.
I've never been formally diagnosed with bipolar but I do have short hypomanic periods (at least) and long depressive periods. But I've always wondered if it might be malleable by behaviors or thinking.
Lately I'll enter a short spit of a manic period, get a ton done, but it'll phase out when I've accomplished whatever immediate goal I have. Been happening more often recently so I wonder if I'm trending towards a longer hypomanic period (might last a few years?).
Either way regardless of anything I need to absolutely commit myself to fitness.
I've never been formally diagnosed with bipolar but I do have short hypomanic periods (at least) and long depressive periods. But I've always wondered if it might be malleable by behaviors or thinking.
Lately I'll enter a short spit of a manic period, get a ton done, but it'll phase out when I've accomplished whatever immediate goal I have. Been happening more often recently so I wonder if I'm trending towards a longer hypomanic period (might last a few years?).
Either way regardless of anything I need to absolutely commit myself to fitness.
Problem is that I already walk a lot , as you say for my photography. I fill my Apple health rings everyday. And I do lift weights also. My biggest problems is what I eat, I don’t even have a kitchen so becomes little complicated. I honestly think the time I spent living on the street fucked my body up, in that I can’t barely eat anything if I want to lose weight. Or it’s age, 43 next year!
Well I've finally arrived at a point where I wish I never started drinking to begin with.