Support Come and load off your mental struggles

Rosenkrantz

Once Punched Man
Apr 22, 2019
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I don't know if this is a right thread to ask and honestly it's not super important stuff, but, is it normal to apologize to someone for things you've said many years ago?

I know that it may not seem like that, but I always had a gift to hurt people's feelings, sometimes not even on purpose. And to reappear years later just to say sorry may not be the best way to handle the situation, especially if the other person moved on. Ultimately I just think I'm being selfish because it's important to me, not to that person, and I don't want to be more of an asshole than I already is.
 
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lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
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I don't know if this is a right thread to ask and honestly it's not super important stuff, but, is it normal to apologize to someone for things you've said many years ago?

I know that it may not seem like that, but I always had a gift to hurt people's feelings, sometimes not even on purpose. And to reappear years later just to say sorry may not be the best way to handle the situation, especially if the other person moved on. Ultimately I just think I'm being selfish because it's important to me, not to that person, and I don't want to be more of an asshole than I already is.
it's never too late to apologize (if you still can)
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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I don't know if this is a right thread to ask and honestly it's not super important stuff, but, is it normal to apologize to someone for things you've said many years ago?

I know that it may not seem like that, but I always had a gift to hurt people's feelings, sometimes not even on purpose. And to reappear years later just to say sorry may not be the best way to handle the situation, especially if the other person moved on. Ultimately I just think I'm being selfish because it's important to me, not to that person, and I don't want to be more of an asshole than I already is.
I did this not so long ago. I was lucky enough that that person found kindness in her heart to tell me that it wasnt a problem but still appreciated that I apologized.
 

deftones r cool

Junior Member
Apr 19, 2019
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I've eaten 38 pieces of string cheese since Sunday.

There is absolutely at least one person who I'd do anything in life to apologize to at this point in my life, and I am also quite sure it's to give myself some closure.

I feel like I may genuinely be insane. I feel less human than other people and I have all these bizarre theories about how life really works. My friends think I'm overly dismissive of things, but I just cant get enjoyment out of things like going to an arcade or seeing a movie anymore. I can do that shit at home for free. I'd rather go to the hardware store or the gym or something. Idk how to communicate to them that my interests are just changing and I dont wanna sound dismissive towards them because smoking pot sounds so fucking boring to me. I'd rather be sober and hanging up drywall. 8m losing it.

I need new friends i think. It sucks because I'm not getting any younger and my current batch have been insanely loyal and supportive, but truthfully discussing superhero movies, video games, and DnD is like torture forme at this point. Where are the ppl at where i can discuss heavy metal, hockey, home improvement l, and weightlifting with? These kids are.l clownshoes, telling me I'm just pretending to be an adult motherfucker I'm 28
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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I've eaten 38 pieces of string cheese since Sunday.

There is absolutely at least one person who I'd do anything in life to apologize to at this point in my life, and I am also quite sure it's to give myself some closure.

I feel like I may genuinely be insane. I feel less human than other people and I have all these bizarre theories about how life really works. My friends think I'm overly dismissive of things, but I just cant get enjoyment out of things like going to an arcade or seeing a movie anymore. I can do that shit at home for free. I'd rather go to the hardware store or the gym or something. Idk how to communicate to them that my interests are just changing and I dont wanna sound dismissive towards them because smoking pot sounds so fucking boring to me. I'd rather be sober and hanging up drywall. 8m losing it.

I need new friends i think. It sucks because I'm not getting any younger and my current batch have been insanely loyal and supportive, but truthfully discussing superhero movies, video games, and DnD is like torture forme at this point. Where are the ppl at where i can discuss heavy metal, hockey, home improvement l, and weightlifting with? These kids are.l clownshoes, telling me I'm just pretending to be an adult motherfucker I'm 28
I feel you. I think it is rather normal to feel alienated from your friends as you get older. As you said, eventually vidya and nerd talk just isnt enough.

I'm in the stage where my friends are more conservative leaning and I'm leaning further to the left. Add that there's not much going on with our life, every day I have to endure bad memes and offensive 'jokes'.
 

deftones r cool

Junior Member
Apr 19, 2019
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I feel you. I think it is rather normal to feel alienated from your friends as you get older. As you said, eventually vidya and nerd talk just isnt enough.

I'm in the stage where my friends are more conservative leaning and I'm leaning further to the left. Add that there's not much going on with our life, every day I have to endure bad memes and offensive 'jokes'.
It's always rough dealing w conservative friends. It almost feels like no matter how valid the points you make towards them, they just refuse to see things your way. Then they start quoting like Shapiro, or Peterspm, or even Crowder... and you know you've already lost.

Thankfully my main group is left leaning except for one guy, but like every other conservative, he swears I'm just a conservative in disguise. Couldn't be further from the truth, I'm a marxist Buddhist who barely believes in the individual self at this point... sorry if I do enjoy the occasional offensive joke. You might not even like me if you heard some of the stuff that came out of my mouth, none of the words that are off limits but I'm quick tongued and enjoy humor because of how ridiculous it is. Like someone falling g down the stairs or getting hit in the nuts. Just because it's funny doesnt mean I'm in favor of it... maybe I'm a hypocrite. My friends think I'm a contrarian, but I disagree. (That's a joke)

I've been living alone now for 4 years though, sans a few brief moments where I've let women I've dated stay with me rent free... but no I'm the asshole lol. I'm just scared I'll be alone forever. Like I'll never figure it out. I just want a family so bad. Nice simple life in the Detroit suburbs w my family l. W a schizo mom and being raised on government cheese, over never had normalcy. I want that shit so bad man
 
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NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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It's always rough dealing w conservative friends. It almost feels like no matter how valid the points you make towards them, they just refuse to see things your way. Then they start quoting like Shapiro, or Peterspm, or even Crowder... and you know you've already lost.

Thankfully my main group is left leaning except for one guy, but like every other conservative, he swears I'm just a conservative in disguise. Couldn't be further from the truth, I'm a marxist Buddhist who barely believes in the individual self at this point... sorry if I do enjoy the occasional offensive joke. You might not even like me if you heard some of the stuff that came out of my mouth, none of the words that are off limits but I'm quick tongued and enjoy humor because of how ridiculous it is. Like someone falling g down the stairs or getting hit in the nuts. Just because it's funny doesnt mean I'm in favor of it... maybe I'm a hypocrite. My friends think I'm a contrarian, but I disagree. (That's a joke)
In my case, it is usually LGBT folk and PoC that are the butt of my friend's jokes. Just disgusting stuff.

Another thing that bugs me is that one of my friends always tries to shame me into playing vidya with them. I have a short attention span for them. I just beat them or play them untill I feel I had my feel. But this guy wants to play with us every single fucking day. PUBG, Rainbow Six, you name it. We played for a while, then I got bored and he would bicker me for fucking days. Its like...brother I want to do other stuff.
 
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deftones r cool

Junior Member
Apr 19, 2019
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In my case, it is usually LGBT folk and PoC that are the butt of my friend's jokes. Just disgusting stuff.

Another thing that bugs me is that one of my friends always tries to shame me into playing vidya with them. I have a short attention span for them. I just beat them or play them untill I feel I had my feel. But this guy wants to play with us every single fucking day. PUBG, Rainbow Six, you name it. We played for a while, then I got bored and he would bicker me for fucking days. Its like...brother I want to do other stuff.
Yeah I completely understand that.

Have you suggested other activities you can do? Maybe even a trade off?

Like "yeah we can play __ for __ amount of time, but only if you ____ with me before/after?"
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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Yeah I completely understand that.

Have you suggested other activities you can do? Maybe even a trade off?

Like "yeah we can play __ for amount of time, but only if you __ with me before/after?"
Honestly no, because I dont think I owe them my time :p maybe I'm a shitty friend but if I dont want to play with them then I shouldnt be obligated to do it.

On other things, I'm also researching about minimalism, which I try to practice. I read Marie Kondo's book and while she would probably kick my ass if she saw that pig den I call home, I do have to say that by getting rid of unnecessary stuff has been good for me. The less thing I physically own, the better.
 

deftones r cool

Junior Member
Apr 19, 2019
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Honestly no, because I dont think I owe them my time :p maybe I'm a shitty friend but if I dont want to play with them then I shouldnt be obligated to do it.

On other things, I'm also researching about minimalism, which I try to practice. I read Marie Kondo's book and while she would probably kick my ass if she saw that pig den I call home, I do have to say that by getting rid of unnecessary stuff has been good for me. The less thing I physically own, the better.
Friendships, like any other relationships are all about compromise. You may be surprised what you can get out of friends when you're willing to give. Just some food for thought.
 

Hektor

Degenerate and Proud
Nov 1, 2018
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In regards to the conversations above:

It's NEVER too late to apologize if it's meant sincerely, nor is it to thank someone who you've taken for granted. I think we'd collectively all do better if we'd do it more often.

That said, apologies aren't always nessecary either. Back in high School i got into a fight with a classmate once that escalated into both of us attacking each other with knifes (thankfully no one was severely hurt), at the end of high School we ended up drinking a few times together and we were okay, maybe not best friends, but okay. Sometimes it's just enough to know that you fucked up and become a better person, eventually people will come around to you on their own.

I can't think of anyone i would want to apologize to, but definitely a few good influences in my life that i would love to extend some gratitude to.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Unrelated to the above and on a personal note: Something that I feel is rarely acknowledged about loneliness is the way it Impacts your good times.
Everything focuses always on how you don't have someone to reach out to on a bad day. but the moments i feel lonely the most are always the good days, when i'm excited about something and want to share that excitement with someone but can't.

Sometimes you just wanna scream at someone and have them scream back, but there is no one, so you eventually lose that happy feeling because it evaporates inside you, like a Steak done too well.
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
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Unrelated to the above and on a personal note: Something that I feel is rarely acknowledged about loneliness is the way it Impacts your good times.
Everything focuses always on how you don't have someone to reach out to on a bad day. but the moments i feel lonely the most are always the good days, when i'm excited about something and want to share that excitement with someone but can't.

Sometimes you just wanna scream at someone and have them scream back, but there is no one, so you eventually lose that happy feeling because it evaporates inside you, like a Steak done too well.
 

deftones r cool

Junior Member
Apr 19, 2019
132
272
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Unrelated to the above and on a personal note: Something that I feel is rarely acknowledged about loneliness is the way it Impacts your good times.
Everything focuses always on how you don't have someone to reach out to on a bad day. but the moments i feel lonely the most are always the good days, when i'm excited about something and want to share that excitement with someone but can't.

Sometimes you just wanna scream at someone and have them scream back, but there is no one, so you eventually lose that happy feeling because it evaporates inside you, like a Steak done too well.
Living, and (previously) working, alone. I eventually got to the point where I'd be excited just to talk to cashiers when buying a pack of Newports, etc.

It got bad. Not like I didn't have friends, but I always felt like I was bothering them, despite their consistent reassurance I wasn't.

Getting a new job where I get to feel as though I'm on a team has really opened my mind to a fresh perspective. People seem to enjoy my presence for whatever reason. Like everyone talks to me. People literally gather around my cubicle to chat. One dude even asked for my Steam ID after he saw my mechanical keyboard. The keyboard is a surprising hit, everyone keeps asking about it. They love the "ambience" of the RGB lmfao. Sometimes you forget that not everyone is exposed to products like we are ("Us gamers, huh?"). I don't wanna sound like a weirdo, but I'm so happy there. I barely want to leave when my shift's over.

I'm hoping you find something similar. New job, school, club/team. Just gotta fake it till u make it.
 

708

MetaMember
Oct 20, 2018
32
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I feel so lonely and worthless. It's really funny to me, there's never been a time in which I laugh as much as I do now, there's never been a time I've had so many friends, and yet there's never been a time in which I've felt so lonely and helpless, not even when I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years last year. I've reached a point where I just cry uncontrollably (and silently, because I live in a dorm) when I have a bit of private space, sometimes even when I'm with my friends, heck I'm crying right now. And I feel really guilty about this crying and even the fact that I'm reaching out to you, because it makes me think of myself as weak and a burden of no use. I could die right now and it would probably make no difference, I'm just a worthless being who has never been of use to anyone. I feel so conflicted about everyone and everything... I don't know what I'm doing with my life and have no bloody clue what I should be doing with it. And that's why I do nothing... nothing productive, neither anything 'fun' (as if they were fun anymore) like watching a movie or playing a game. I just can't do anything... nothing. Heck I have 3 final term exams for my university in the next three days and have barely studied. And all this just contributes to the sense of worthlessness that I have. I would have probably ended myself if I wasn't just a coward that still believes in some sort of afterlife.
 

Swenhir

Junior Member
Apr 18, 2019
103
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I feel really guilty about this crying and even the fact that I'm reaching out to you, because it makes me think of myself as weak and a burden of no use. I could die right now and it would probably make no difference, I'm just a worthless being who has never been of use to anyone.
Hey! I don't know you and I don't even think we've ever talked on this forum but what you wrote sounds entirely too familiar for me not to try to help.

First, I want to say that chances are you have endured a shitload to get to today. You are awesome for surviving and you will keep on being just that.

Your worth isn't in what you can do today, in your "productivity" or other hurtful bullshit. Hell, you probably don't even acknowledge how strained you are or the things you do take on. It's hard to put into words but your worth is so much more than that. You aren't a gear in a machine and your right to exist or feel worthy doesn't lay in anybody's misguided judgment of your usefulness. Who you are already holds everything you need to blossom in the future.

You already know deep down that you are invaluable and incredible, It's just probably very hard to believe that voice inside of yourself due to your circumstances and inherited worldviews. There's only one of you and the world would be the poorer without you being around. I can't fully express the feeling but as long as there's life, there's potential. Just survive until tomorrow if you can't deal with things. Just do nothing or what little you can and know that it's okay. You don't apologize for surviving. You are allowed to not be able function with the kind of sadness and shit you are going through.

For what it's worth, I'm really sorry your life sucks so much right now but it's not your fault that you can't get shit done. It's a self-perpetuating vicious circle of sadness and depression. You do need to get out of it and you do need help (as everyone in your state deserves) but being in this emotional place is, without a doubt, not of your making. You are doing the best you can, you haven't given up and I find that admirable.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life and have no bloody clue what I should be doing with it
Welcome to the club! It sucks but it can and will get better. Just keep walking.

If I had one piece of advice, it's that the momentum that small habits build is really powerful. If you can find one positive thing that you can do on a regular basis, try to do it. It has a way of pulling you out of the darkness and snowball into bigger things.
 
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JackPineSavage

the resident anarchist
Jun 2, 2019
39
60
18
I have found my best friends well after twenties but i might a bit insane with borderline. i sync up real good with some people and some hate me. i just met you and like you, now let me tell you my life story and overshare. i used to be shy but i think i put up some mental defences because i have hard time to know my limits. i really like the people that can stand me and i hope i can get better.
 

708

MetaMember
Oct 20, 2018
32
93
18
Hey! I don't know you and I don't even think we've ever talked on this forum but what you wrote sounds entirely too familiar for me not to try to help.

First, I want to say that chances are you have endured a shitload to get to today. You are awesome for surviving and you will keep on being just that.

Your worth isn't in what you can do today, in your "productivity" or other hurtful bullshit. Hell, you probably don't even acknowledge how strained you are or the things you do take on. It's hard to put into words but your worth is so much more than that. You aren't a gear in a machine and your right to exist or feel worthy doesn't lay in anybody's misguided judgment of your usefulness. Who you are already holds everything you need to blossom in the future.

You already know deep down that you are invaluable and incredible, It's just probably very hard to believe that voice inside of yourself due to your circumstances and inherited worldviews. There's only one of you and the world would be the poorer without you being around. I can't fully express the feeling but as long as there's life, there's potential. Just survive until tomorrow if you can't deal with things. Just do nothing or what little you can and know that it's okay. You don't apologize for surviving. You are allowed to not be able function with the kind of sadness and shit you are going through.

For what it's worth, I'm really sorry your life sucks so much right now but it's not your fault that you can't get shit done. It's a self-perpetuating vicious circle of sadness and depression. You do need to get out of it and you do need help (as everyone in your state deserves) but being in this emotional place is, without a doubt, not of your making. You are doing the best you can, you haven't given up and I find that admirable.



Welcome to the club! It sucks but it can and will get better. Just keep walking.

If I had one piece of advice, it's that the momentum that small habits build is really powerful. If you can find one positive thing that you can do on a regular basis, try to do it. It has a way of pulling you out of the darkness and snowball into bigger things.
I really appreciate your post. I feel a bit better now because I really had not looked at this whole situation from this angle. Particularly the bolded part makes me feel better about myself... Thank you.
 
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blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
306
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It's been breaking my heart this past week that I haven't been able to share support for you all. :crying-face:

I've been battling my own demons and unfortunately they've been winning. I haven't slept well in weeks and had to push myself to even make the two posts that I've made today.

I had planned to create a post when this all started and about what sparked it all.. and after explaining maybe it will make sense why the timing would have been horrible. I'll also set everything beyond this as hidden content so that I can warn folks ahead of time that it's incredibly long and very heartbreaking.

Edit: I should mention that the stuff in the hidden content might be a little nonsensical to anyone that hasn't checked out the pet thread.

Hidden content
You need to react to this post in order to see this content.
 
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NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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It's been breaking my heart this past week that I haven't been able to share support for you all. :crying-face:

I've been battling my own demons and unfortunately they've been winning. I haven't slept well in weeks and had to push myself to even make the two posts that I've made today.

I had planned to create a post when this all started and about what sparked it all.. and after explaining maybe it will make sense why the timing would have been horrible. I'll also set everything beyond this as hidden content so that I can warn folks ahead of time that it's incredibly long and very heartbreaking.

[Hidden content]

None of this is your fault. You're an incredibly kind person by taking time from your day in order to care for these kittens.

A show of love is invaluable, you made the lives of these cats better, it doesnt matter if it was shortlived.

Internet hugs
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
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None of this is your fault. You're an incredibly kind person by taking time from your day in order to care for these kittens.

A show of love is invaluable, you made the lives of these cats better, it doesnt matter if it was shortlived.

Internet hugs
yeah, blindrhythm ... what NarohDethan said!

don't blame yourself ... and hang in there, man! we're here for you! never forget that

:wd_heart:
 

deftones r cool

Junior Member
Apr 19, 2019
132
272
63
[Hidden content]
Congrats, and dont psyche yourself out! Judging from your posts alone, your English is much better than most native speakers I encounter IRL. You've got this, and dont forget, the fact that you're bilingual is a testament to just how powerful your mind really is. Its not easy learning multiple languages, some can barely grasp one.
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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Congrats, and dont psyche yourself out! Judging from your posts alone, your English is much better than most native speakers I encounter IRL. You've got this, and dont forget, the fact that you're bilingual is a testament to just how powerful your mind really is. Its not easy learning multiple languages, some can barely grasp one.
Thank you :wd_heart:
 

blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
306
787
93
None of this is your fault. You're an incredibly kind person by taking time from your day in order to care for these kittens.

A show of love is invaluable, you made the lives of these cats better, it doesnt matter if it was shortlived.

Internet hugs
yeah, blindrhythm ... what NarohDethan said!

don't blame yourself ... and hang in there, man! we're here for you! never forget that

:wd_heart:
Thank you both. :cat-heart-blob:

I know I shouldn't beat myself up over this.. but it's the not knowing part that makes it the worst.

And congratulations by the way, Naroh! I'm so glad that something new came along so quickly. You'll do great! :)