Yeah I don't really frequent large Discord servers either, they just move too fast for me in general. So that means you should join the FalcomEra discord, it's small and cozy and full of nice peopleI just keep a really short friends list on purpose. Cuz I'm a jerk or somethin'. Think the biggest my list ever got was 45. Then I panicked and culled it to 32. It's nothing personal or maliciously motivated, just people I don't talk to, share common interests with, or interact with frequently. One tough pill to swallow for me was always that people on your friend's list could instantly chat with you, and I don't really like to chat on that level with people I'm not personal with or long-time friendly. I had such a hard time joining and getting used to discord for this reason. (And even then I've found I prefer smaller servers, so sorry I almost never visit PCGamingEra discord lol.) Forums to the rescue! This old-school feeling has a layer of disconnect between time and people. I appreciate that feeling/layer.
I suppose for people with friends numbering in the hundreds though, managing them would be a pain yeah. Probably not very personal at that level either. That would give me some wicked anxiety.
Regarding Steam friends and chat: A lot of the people on my Steam friendlist I at least recognize, but there are a few I have no idea who they are, lol.
But from my experience not many people just start randomly chatting. And the ones that do occasionally write me are the ones I recognize