|OT| Dating Thread | One right swap at the time
- Thread starter NarohDethan
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OP
OP
What I've found between older and younger women is that the younger are more direct and they just go for it while the older often do shit tests, play mindgames.
As someone who is really bad at reading signs, people like that would go straight into the trash
Understandable King
Ugh, just as I've been in a shitty place after all my dating has gone, not badly, but to nothing in a way, the last one really hurt, it was fiery passion for the first moment, after hooking up a couple of times she completely disappeared. And now this evening my ex from summer calls me and she also really hurt me.
And now going into the holidays alone really fucking sucks.
And now going into the holidays alone really fucking sucks.
Soooooo Hektor , what's going on? You haven't been updating us!
That sounds great! Her saying she would come and give it in person is a good sign.Well ehm
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Worst case for now, gonna be a long two weeks until i find out.
I have started to understand my problem, I think I come of very strong, like often that someone pretty much falls for me on the first date, as I mentioned a few weeks ago the date dragged me into the forest to hook up on the first date haha! But it seems they "fall out of me" pretty much on the second date.
And on Saturday I had another date with a new one and she seems to be really into me, saying she knew the moment she saw me and I really like her too but I'm worried that the next time we meet it will be as usual that she falls out.
And on Saturday I had another date with a new one and she seems to be really into me, saying she knew the moment she saw me and I really like her too but I'm worried that the next time we meet it will be as usual that she falls out.
That's what I'm saying, it's not different, I have many times felt exactly like that. But yes you are right also that it is very rare, but what I wanted to say is that it isn't once in a life kind of thing. I used to think it was but I'm old now.XD
First Christmas in I don't know how long that I don't spend alone! Think I might be in love.
Good, solid update from our German agent.
No, seriously, good to see everything is moving in a good direction.
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Wait, the girl wrote you a four page letter ? Nod silently, good direction indeed.
No, seriously, good to see everything is moving in a good direction.
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Wait, the girl wrote you a four page letter ? Nod silently, good direction indeed.
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Think might have found the one. She came and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day with me. Today she took me to see her god father and she said she was nervous, which seems like a good sign.
Ugh, so I have a crush on a girl (pretty rare for me tbh) but I'm 99.9% sure it's a one sided highway. We talked for like 10 minutes today, and half of the conversation she was on a phone using whatsapp or showing me clips on Instagram. I'm not a complete idiot, I know what it means, but I can't move on. I'm not sure if I should ask her out straight on (just for closure) or just drop whatever relationship we have now completely? I don't want it to be awkward for her because we work together and will be at the same place for at least some time.
Rosenkrantz Being direct is always good, just saying you are interested and curious if she would like to go out. BUT! Working in the same place makes it tricky, personally I would stay cool just because of that, maybe re-evaluate if you get closer down the road.
I don't think that work will be a problem, because I have no intention of stalking her if she says no and ain't gonna turn it into a big deal.
I'm just tired of being in agony and I hate myself for being unable to move on for a few weeks now and keep coming back to her with some dumbass conversations. I asked if I bore her and she said no, I wish she was less polite and more direct because it would've been easier for me to swallow. Oh well, I guess I'll just ask her directly to finish this misery.
Hektor You don't need to block her, just delete her from your contacts, unfollow, unfriend. But yes it's safe to assume that anything else than a 'hell yeah" is a no. And don't go into a friendship when you want more, just take some distance and if she tries to be friends just tell her that you can't since you feel more and it would be destructive to pursue a friendship. The same as no one is entitled to romantic relationships no one is entitled to friendship.
Ah yes I didn't mean she feels entitled to it, it was more that you shouldn't feel any obligation for that and if she has a problem with you not wanting to be friends then that is when she feels entitled to it and thats not alright.
I understand your position about not feeling you can say no to friendship but since you clearly want more it will be hell for you and in a scenario like that friendship will be impossible, so better to take distance and when the feelings have cooled off then maybe you can see if friendship is possible.
Don't let these shitty thoughts take hold ! There is absolutely no reason to think no great girl is for you. The issue if finding her.
edit - I'm not satisfied of my post. Let's put it another way, I'm alone and fear I will end up alone, and even I am pretty sure there are great girls for me (and that I could be great for them, duh). Like I said, it's a 'meeting her' problem in a world where people barely take a look at others.
And that's without speaking about the fact you are pretty fixated on her still, you are not in a place where your brain acknowledges those other great girls.
Unless you are an Anime fan 
edit - I'm not satisfied of my post. Let's put it another way, I'm alone and fear I will end up alone, and even I am pretty sure there are great girls for me (and that I could be great for them, duh). Like I said, it's a 'meeting her' problem in a world where people barely take a look at others.
And that's without speaking about the fact you are pretty fixated on her still, you are not in a place where your brain acknowledges those other great girls.
I swear this happens everytime I tell the world that I'm in a relationship, the moment I do, it starts to fall apart.
OP
OP
Those early days of lockdowns were really something, I have never felt so chased after haha!
Finally did it, broke up with my girlfriend, the amount of lies became just too much. She even was using dating apps behind my back so yeah. She even called me day after and acted like nothing has happened.
But yeah I'm back at dating apps and this was my phone yesterday when starting out.
But yeah I'm back at dating apps and this was my phone yesterday when starting out.
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[HIDEPOSTS]I figured i post again in here, even if technically nothing happened much
We are actually spending a lot of time together (with friends) on and offline and vibe pretty greatly.
Anyways, yesterday the topic of actually dating crept up again, and while i got the same answer (not interested in relationships right now),
she did explain more in-depth what she meant by that.
Essentially the thing is that she has relationship drama going on with 2 different ex's since half a year to a year, that she had remained friends with, who want something of her again, even though she explicitly doesn't, and she's being made to feel bad about it. So for now she feels overwhelmed and incapable to think things through properly.
Throughout the conversation i also told her very open how i'm feeling towards her (most interesting and lovely woman i've ever met, in short) and that i understand and respect her decision/sentiment and wish her all the best in working it out.
Was an unusually mature, direct and respectable conversation to be honest. I'm surprised myself.
FWIW i don't even care all that much anymore (even though my interest in dating her as essentially mostly grown) because she has been an invaluable friend to me in the last few months. I literally haven't been vibing this good with a person ever since my best friend died, so even if we never end up dating, i feel like i got something great going on here.
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We are actually spending a lot of time together (with friends) on and offline and vibe pretty greatly.
Anyways, yesterday the topic of actually dating crept up again, and while i got the same answer (not interested in relationships right now),
she did explain more in-depth what she meant by that.
Essentially the thing is that she has relationship drama going on with 2 different ex's since half a year to a year, that she had remained friends with, who want something of her again, even though she explicitly doesn't, and she's being made to feel bad about it. So for now she feels overwhelmed and incapable to think things through properly.
Throughout the conversation i also told her very open how i'm feeling towards her (most interesting and lovely woman i've ever met, in short) and that i understand and respect her decision/sentiment and wish her all the best in working it out.
Was an unusually mature, direct and respectable conversation to be honest. I'm surprised myself.
FWIW i don't even care all that much anymore (even though my interest in dating her as essentially mostly grown) because she has been an invaluable friend to me in the last few months. I literally haven't been vibing this good with a person ever since my best friend died, so even if we never end up dating, i feel like i got something great going on here.
[/HIDEPOSTS]
Why do people write "can't see likes so write me instead" on dating apps, isn't that the point so you can only see those you match with.
Yeah that does come of as a red flag, doing anything in secret in a relationship especially that involves something like that isn't good. Impossible to say anything for sure, maybe they keep it a secret because as you said they have been strongly against it and don't want to come off as hypocritical or maybe they were strongly against such things because they were projecting.
It is hard to tell without context.
"Secret" could be:
- because they know the other one has tendency to be jealous and imagine bad things when there is none,
- or because bad things happen.
This is all assuming that you put "friend" in quotation marks, because of suspicion. If you have evidence, then I join Monooboe about the hypocrisy.
I had the weirdest meeting, went to see someone and I have learned that tits are smell really bad!XD she a big ones and kept wanting me to suck on them and yeah I did but man made me want to vomit.
Turns out she was in student housing so I’m pretty sure that if I get Covid it is now. Since Parisian students are the worst when it comes to that.
Also, she seemed little ehm how to say this, “slow”.
I have never felt so uncomfortable going home to someone. I just had to stop and leave.XD
Turns out she was in student housing so I’m pretty sure that if I get Covid it is now. Since Parisian students are the worst when it comes to that.
Also, she seemed little ehm how to say this, “slow”.
I have never felt so uncomfortable going home to someone. I just had to stop and leave.XD
I’m kind of freaking out, I hooked up with someone so gorgeous that I have such hard time believing that she is into me. Yet she says she is interested in something serious.
I don’t understand how I keep failing upwards in dating haha, I went on a date with an actual princess! I keep saying I go on dates with women out of my league but the distance in that get worse every time haha!
Haha no, she said her mother was related to an African king. So she said is indeed a princess. We were taking something I think I sarcastically asked her if she was a princess.XDFrench royalty, you say?
oh, not French royalty then .... damn, what a way to ruin the fun
Four dates in a row in four days with four different women is a record for me. But tonight it went very well! My head is still spinning. Might have a another date tomorrow with the same one.
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Never mind she cancelled the second date already.
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Never mind she cancelled the second date already.
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OP
OP
I paid for tinder gold! It was on sale so 11€ didn’t seem that bad. But it doesn’t do that much.
Had the most weird day, someone wrote me on badoo, someone I hadn't even matched with, we talked a few minutes and she mentioned that she needs a massage, so she comes over and even more happens. All good, I like to have fun! But here's the paradoxical thing about it! I wasn't even active on badoo and I even write there that I am looking for serious and that is even why she came to hook up with me haha and said she didn't like all the guys only looking for sex.
I just don't understand haha
I just don't understand haha
Life is weird. Yesterday I was on a date with such an amazing person but there was one thing, she reminded me of a huge love I used to have a few years back, someone I havent talked to in years... but during the night she, from the past, followed me out of the blue on instagram.
OP
OP
I had a date so disastrous (for me) I'm not sure I want to bother again lol