Support Come and load off your mental struggles

JMTHEFOX

Planning to Be a Game Designer
Oct 4, 2018
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Brooklyn, NY
One of my facebook friends is feeling really depressed right now. She told me that some boy or girl called her an idiot and is having some family troubles. I am trying to help her out (she is from Brazil or Portugal; can't remember). Any advice on what I can giver her?
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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One of my facebook friends is feeling really depressed right now. She told me that some boy or girl called her an idiot and is having some family troubles. I am trying to help her out (she is from Brazil or Portugal; can't remember). Any advice on what I can giver her?
What kind of troubles?
 

Hektor

Panzermensch
Nov 1, 2018
2,061
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fml

Wanted to buy tickets for the NieR Orchestra in London, but they didn't support my payment method and now the tickets are sold out.
I'm legit depressed right now.

It might sound silly to get hung up on such a thing but it's been a dream of mine to go to one since they started happening in japan 3 years ago.

:jj_potato:
 

EdwardTivrusky

See You Hyper-Toxic Computer Cowboy
Dec 8, 2018
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I'd love to see Nier & Nier Automata played by an Orchestra. We can be partners in sadness as i didn't even know they were on sale.
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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A lot of times I wonder if I’m a good person. I know I’m not a shitty person, but I think I dont always do my best to be better.
 
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deftones r cool

I̷n̴t̵o̸ ̷t̷h̵e̶ ̵v̵o̵i̸d̵
Apr 19, 2019
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A lot of times I wonder if I’m a good person. I know I’m not a shitty person, but I think I dont always do my best to be better.
Morality is subjective. There are people IRL who would consider me a saint, and others who would swear to you I was the antichrist or something. If you go through life without ruffling some feathers and making some enemies along the way, you're not doing it right imho.

As Patrice O'Neal infamously said, "Don't nice your way out of your own happiness." People who pretend like they don't have a darker, more primal, side are annoying imho.
 
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deftones r cool

I̷n̴t̵o̸ ̷t̷h̵e̶ ̵v̵o̵i̸d̵
Apr 19, 2019
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Idk if any of you guys can relate. but I don't react well to good things happening to me. It's like I'm not used to it or something, makes me uncomfortable. A mass e-mail went out over at work about my promotion and all these co-workers and stuff started congratulating me. It was nuts. I almost went into the fetal position lmao.

Not sure what that is. Feels like it belongs in this thread though.

I finally got an office job where I make salary and I'm freaking tf out about it.

Imposter syndrome? Is that what it's called?
 

BlackRainbowFT

Junior Member
Apr 17, 2019
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Idk if any of you guys can relate. but I don't react well to good things happening to me. It's like I'm not used to it or something, makes me uncomfortable. A mass e-mail went out over at work about my promotion and all these co-workers and stuff started congratulating me. It was nuts. I almost went into the fetal position lmao.

Not sure what that is. Feels like it belongs in this thread though.

I finally got an office job where I make salary and I'm freaking tf out about it.

Imposter syndrome? Is that what it's called?
It's impostor syndrome if you feel like those compliments are unwarranted... that you're scared that somebody might find out they were wrong all along... that in fact you're a hack but nobody seems to have noticed yet.

But what you're describing actually looks like a form of social anxiety. I personally dislike being at the center of attention... it's one of the main reasons I don't want to marry: I just don't want to have a day that is "about me". And I dread the day I'll have to announce that I'm going to be a father (I'm not although it's on the cards... and I can't avoid thinking about "having to tell the others").
 

z1ggy

No Anime
Apr 17, 2019
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Idk if any of you guys can relate. but I don't react well to good things happening to me. It's like I'm not used to it or something, makes me uncomfortable. A mass e-mail went out over at work about my promotion and all these co-workers and stuff started congratulating me. It was nuts. I almost went into the fetal position lmao.

Not sure what that is. Feels like it belongs in this thread though.

I finally got an office job where I make salary and I'm freaking tf out about it.

Imposter syndrome? Is that what it's called?
I really dislike compliments, i guess some of us arent used to good things. Anyways, glad you are doing well ✨

It's impostor syndrome if you feel like those compliments are unwarranted... that you're scared that somebody might find out they were wrong all along... that in fact you're a hack but nobody seems to have noticed yet.

But what you're describing actually looks like a form of social anxiety. I personally dislike being at the center of attention... it's one of the main reasons I don't want to marry: I just don't want to have a day that is "about me". And I dread the day I'll have to announce that I'm going to be a father (I'm not although it's on the cards... and I can't avoid thinking about "having to tell the others").
Also, i hate being the center of attention as well but one way or another i always end being there.
 
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PC-tan

[b]PP[/b]
Jan 19, 2019
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California
I'm still hung up about what I am going to do with my life. At times I feel okay and I do have a feeling that I will figure it out and to just move forward but that's also an issue in of itself of what is "moving forward"?

I did apply at this staffing agency as a temp, ideally they will find some place that would need someone like me and I would do that full time, save up money and finish paying off my current bills. Then get a car (you can get a decent used car for $3-4k USD. The one I had before I got for $2.5K USD and that lasted me about 2 hours, I got into a car crash so that car is no more and even then it also had some issues that would cost me about $2K USD to fix).

After I get the car I would (I might even try to do this before?) start taking classes in college again.

But the thing is that even if I do get a full time job and do those things where do I go from there? Do I just keep living with my parents? Do I just move out of my parents place and find a place to live on my own? Knowing myself I don't think that will be a good idea. I am barely able to take care of myself, but more importantly wouldn't I feel even more lonely than I do right now? I'm okay with being alone but I don't think I can be alone for days by myself.

And even after all of that would I be living by myself with a full time job and possible working on my degree? would I even get the chance to "meet someone", well at least in the town that I live?

Before I thought that once I transferred to another college that I would move into the dorms there or something, have a room mate, work while being in school and then just go from there. That is where I should be at right now (or at least that is where I should have been since 2 years ago).

I don't know how full time jobs "work" but I would imagine that for a lot of them they would not really require you to move or anything like that. So if I wanted to move to some other town would I just save up money now apply to the job in some other town and this way if I did get the job in the other town I would be able to afford some place to live there?


I just have so many questions and there are just so many possibilities.


I still remember how when I was in elementary school (I think in 5th grade) that I was going to UCSB and that the path was already set for me no matter what and that is where I was going to go. But that is not what ended up happening. My best friend does go there and he was always more focused on school work than I even was.


I know that I should not be worrying especially since these should be among some of my last year without major responsibilities (I should have a part time going to school and drinking with friends and not have formed a family of my own or anything like that)
 

Li Kao

It’s a strange world. Let’s keep it that way.
Jan 28, 2019
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Uh, I don't plan to talk too much about my situation because that would take a lot of time and I don't want to be even more down as I already am.
But you dream about meeting a girl who works at a book shop, enter a relationship, things are good.
Then you wake up.

How can I handle all those feelings right now. I need to scream :poutblob:
 

BlindRhythm

co-op king?
Apr 17, 2019
954
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I know that I should not be worrying especially since these should be among some of my last year without major responsibilities (I should have a part time going to school and drinking with friends and not have formed a family of my own or anything like that)
It can sometimes be good to look ahead and start making plans for what you want to do in the future, but if you try to spread your focus across a bunch of things at once you end up with a lot of great sounding ideas and no idea where to begin. As you said, moving forward is tough when you don't have a path.

But also you talked about getting another car and getting a temp job, that's a great first step! Once that happens some of the rest will fall into place, or at least will be easier to work towards.

If you feel that you're not ready to be alone then it's not a bad option to stay with family a little longer. If they're okay with it it's a great way to help save towards getting your own place and have extra for any unforeseen issues that might crop up. It's what I did and it worked out great! Now, granted if you've read my posts in this thread I'm sort of living at home again, but that's a long story (I've touched on it a little previously) and unrelated to my original savings/moving out.

I can understand it being pretty daunting at first when considering a full time job, especially if it's your first one. I will say that it's going to feel like you don't have much time for things at first, but you'll settle in and get used to the new job. When that happens you'll realize that it's not nearly as bad as you originally thought. Sure, your schedule will be a little tighter than you might be used to now though it won't keep you from doing a lot of what you enjoy.

A buddy of mine works 10 hour days most days, has three kids and three pets and still manages to find time to play games or go out. Probably not quite as often as he'd like and again, it did take him some time to manage all of that, but it's definitely doable!

You will get this figured out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself that you need all of the answers right now. The answers will come and I know there's plenty of great folks here that will offer even better advice than I can.

Hang in there!

 

deftones r cool

I̷n̴t̵o̸ ̷t̷h̵e̶ ̵v̵o̵i̸d̵
Apr 19, 2019
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PC-tan everyone's path in life is different. Remember this, you're not nearly as alone as you think. I wont bullshit ya, the system is set up against us, and its going to be a bumpy ride, but you'll make it if you stay focused.

I worked various shit tier full time jobs ubtil I eventually worked my way up to manager at a few of them. While doing that, I got an easy lib arts degree from a local community college. Class by class, and it took years. There were days where I had no idea where my next meal was coming from. I work with a bunch of university grads now, and am better off due to my lack of student debt. Networking and experience trump a degree imho.

Despite various attempts, I was never able to figure dating out, but I'll tackle that soon now that I finally have some stability under my belt

It sounds to me like your parents have given you a bit of a safety net. That's awesome, take advantage of that and take some risks, one day at a time. That's all anyone can do. Best of luck.
 

BlindRhythm

co-op king?
Apr 17, 2019
954
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Uh, I don't plan to talk too much about my situation because that would take a lot of time and I don't want to be even more down as I already am.
But you dream about meeting a girl who works at a book shop, enter a relationship, things are good.
Then you wake up.

How can I handle all those feelings right now. I need to scream :poutblob:
No worries about keeping some of it to yourself! I'm so sorry to hear it's getting you down.

It's good to get those feelings out though, even if it is just kind of shouting into the void. I've been there plenty of times and as you know, quite recently. No, you might not end up with the desired outcome even after getting it all out there, but it will take some of that weight off. And hey, we're always here for you anytime you need to get something off of your chest. :cat-heart-blob:

 

Jkm23

A mostly console gamer posting from the Brig
Jul 12, 2019
595
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93
The internet is full of people who dance on and on about how an objectively difficult thing was easy for them. When studying more advanced IT concepts, systems, protocols either for myself or for job related exams, I have to step back and remind myself that no one has ever worked in IT for their people skills. Whew lads.
 
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EdwardTivrusky

See You Hyper-Toxic Computer Cowboy
Dec 8, 2018
1,617
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Ahhh, that cold-sweat feeling when the Account Deletion script you're testing starts scrolling the names of ALL the accounts in the Active Directory. Followed by the overwhelming sense of relief when you realise you're not that stupid and it was only printing what it would do not actually deleting the accounts.

Scripting against a Live AD when your organisation doesn't have a suitable Dev Environment can be a little bit nerve-wracking at times.
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
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www.fancierlust.com
Ugh some people suck so damn much. A girl from my recent past, I mentioned her before, she who chose another guy because the life he could provide. Anyway she wrote me today and tells me she misses me, later goes into how happy she is with her boyfriend.

She is the only I've felt real chemistry with for Avery long time and I know she feels it too, because well she says as much and keeps getting in touch with me. But it's always the same, she wants hear I think of her and then she stops talking to me for few months and she writes again.

Funnily, my psychiatrist just figured me out, that I have long term childhood and life trauma that makes me feel like I'm never enough for anyone or anything. And why I always fall for those who won't see me as enough. And here I am again with someone who reminds me of that.
 
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EdwardTivrusky

See You Hyper-Toxic Computer Cowboy
Dec 8, 2018
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Me too, me too but i have no chance over here unless i shack up with someone for dual income or win the lottery and the odds of both happening are about the same.

 
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Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
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Continued path down unlucky love with the one I mentioned earlier. Now we are at the point where she tells me that she loves me but does a one two punch by then telling it's fantasy land that she would ever leave her boyfriend.

One might ask why tell hell I would I get involved with someone who is taken, well I met her first and we had amazing connection, and well then I became homeless and she went to another, but we have obviously not been able to forget eachother.
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
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You should cut all contacts with her, Monooboe , she sounds emotionally manipulative and only wants validation. You can still get amazing connections with other people.
Yeah I know I should! Hell I even tried to have a girlfriend but it's really hard to find chemistry like I had with her. I do try to date but with my life situation it's been quite hard, and most my online always ask for money haha. So yeah.
 

Rosenkrantz

Once Punched Man
Apr 22, 2019
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So, today I learned that someone at work spreads rumours about me and seemingly tries to make the boss form a negative opinion about myself. Honestly, I don't know why this person does it because I never showed anything but respect to them and I don't even work in the same department. I have a suspicion that they want someone they know to take my place but it's neither here nor there.

Kinda makes me want to quit as soon as possible, I'm not a fan of intrigues and other political bullshit, the only thing stopping me is the fact that the job market is pretty much dead here and I'll be stuck in this situation for at least a couple of months.
 
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NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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So, today I learned that someone at work spreads rumours about me and seemingly tries to make the boss form a negative opinion about myself. Honestly, I don't know why this person does it because I never showed anything but respect to them and I don't even work in the same department. I have a suspicion that they want someone they know to take my place but it's neither here nor there.

Kinda makes me want to quit as soon as possible, I'm not a fan of intrigues and other political bullshit, the only thing stopping me is the fact that the job market is pretty much dead here and I'll be stuck in this situation for at least a couple of months.
Probably a case of professional envy. Fuck them.
I would talk to my boss about the rumors and tell them if they’re aware and that you’re aware and how much of a concern is to you.
 
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deftones r cool

I̷n̴t̵o̸ ̷t̷h̵e̶ ̵v̵o̵i̸d̵
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A lot of people feel bad impulses. Don't give them attention. Yeah, easier when you are just commenting, but you get the idea.
Breh, your lady friend ain't worth it. Sounds like a manipulative jerk.

Head up to a titty bar and rub your knob against your thigh a little. That always makes me feel better :)
 

BlindRhythm

co-op king?
Apr 17, 2019
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Kind of scared myself today, I had a brief feeling, like an instinct to jump in front of the train today. Think I might be in a bad place.
A lot of people feel bad impulses. Don't give them attention. Yeah, easier when you are just commenting, but you get the idea.
Those same thoughts and feelings have plagued me for years and are a daily struggle for me. For me my mind always goes down a checklist of, "If I go through with this how can I do it so it's going to be the least inconvenient for everyone.." and then it just goes on from there. It's unpleasant and scary.

But as Li Kao said and I completely agree, that it's a fairly common thing and to varying degrees.

Another for me is that I don't really have a fear of heights, I have the urge to jump when I'm high up so I try my best to avoid those situations. Sporting events can be a trying few hours if I get stuck with some bad seats though. :LOL:

It's easy to say, but don't let those thoughts and feelings win. Take some time to relax and unwind and try to focus on those other things that bring you joy, no matter how small. When you're at your lowest even those minor things can be a big help. For me it was spending time with my pets, listening to some of my favorite bands and playing some slower, more relaxing games.

And hey, don't forget we're always here to listen anytime too. :cat-heart-blob:
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
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Li Kao and blindrhythm You are of course right, it common and normal to have those thoughts and urges. Hell I have a long history of those thoughts, plans and attempts. What scared me this time was just how different it felt, I was just having a normal day and even before even having any negative thoughts I just "felt" like wanting to jump in front of train and when I realized what the urge was I was all "whoa" and got chills!
 

708

MetaMember
Oct 20, 2018
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The past ~6 months have been really hard for me, I've cried like a helpless baby at 3 a.m. in the streets, I've thought about suicide, I've thought about living in complete isolation from m friends, etc. Strangely enough, I've been feeling better since I've stopped taking meds around 3 weeks ago. There's still something that continues to eat me up from the inside though. I have no purpose in life. There is not a single thing (or person, for that matter) that I love and long for. There is nothing in life that I really want to achieve. Sure, I'd like to have lots of money and a loving family when I'm 40, but they're not that important. Wherever I look, people seem to have a purpose., there's something or someone that they crave. There's a friend who's absolutely in love with cars, there's another who wants to be a tour guide, there's another who's fallen in love. Meanwhile, I'm feeling quite lost and I'm only 20. There's nothing for me to crave for, and I have no idea how to find one. I can't really talk with my parents about these sorts of things, and figured since most people here are older than me, maybe I should ask for some advice here. I spend a lot of time doing nothing because I have no idea what I want. Am I even supposed to have a purpose and aim? If so, is there any way I can get close to finding one?
Sorry for the long rant.
 
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NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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The past ~6 months have been really hard for me, I've cried like a helpless baby at 3 a.m. in the streets, I've thought about suicide, I've thought about living in complete isolation from m friends, etc. Strangely enough, I've been feeling better since I've stopped taking meds around 3 weeks ago. There's still something that continues to eat me up from the inside though. I have no purpose in life. There is not a single thing (or person, for that matter) that I love and long for. There is nothing in life that I really want to achieve. Sure, I'd like to have lots of money and a loving family when I'm 40, but they're not that important. Wherever I look, people seem to have a purpose., there's something or someone that they crave. There's a friend who's absolutely in love with cars, there's another who wants to be a tour guide, there's another who's fallen in love. Meanwhile, I'm feeling quite lost and I'm only 20. There's nothing for me to crave for, and I have no idea how to find one. I can't really talk with my parents about these sorts of things, and figured since most people here are older than me, maybe I should ask for some advice here. I spend a lot of time doing nothing because I have no idea what I want. Am I even supposed to have a purpose and aim? If so, is there any way I can get close to finding one?
Sorry for the long rant.
You’re 20. It is absolutely normal to not know what you want in life at this age. Heck, at any age. The things I wanted last year are totally different from this year.
Try different things and see what sticks, but dont feel bad for dropping things. I’ve tried to be a guitarrist, photographer, Japanese language student, Lego builder and I’ve failed on every single thing, but I don’t feel bad about it because they has led me to other things and people. Especially people.
 

Rosenkrantz

Once Punched Man
Apr 22, 2019
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The past ~6 months have been really hard for me, I've cried like a helpless baby at 3 a.m. in the streets, I've thought about suicide, I've thought about living in complete isolation from m friends, etc. Strangely enough, I've been feeling better since I've stopped taking meds around 3 weeks ago. There's still something that continues to eat me up from the inside though. I have no purpose in life. There is not a single thing (or person, for that matter) that I love and long for. There is nothing in life that I really want to achieve. Sure, I'd like to have lots of money and a loving family when I'm 40, but they're not that important. Wherever I look, people seem to have a purpose., there's something or someone that they crave. There's a friend who's absolutely in love with cars, there's another who wants to be a tour guide, there's another who's fallen in love. Meanwhile, I'm feeling quite lost and I'm only 20. There's nothing for me to crave for, and I have no idea how to find one. I can't really talk with my parents about these sorts of things, and figured since most people here are older than me, maybe I should ask for some advice here. I spend a lot of time doing nothing because I have no idea what I want. Am I even supposed to have a purpose and aim? If so, is there any way I can get close to finding one?
Sorry for the long rant.
You're only in the beginning of your journey, it's normal to still figure out what you really want from life, most people don't know their purpose till they're in their mid 30s, or even older. Just find something you like to do and stick with that.
 
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708

MetaMember
Oct 20, 2018
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You’re 20. It is absolutely normal to not know what you want in life at this age. Heck, at any age. The things I wanted last year are totally different from this year.
Try different things and see what sticks, but dont feel bad for dropping things. I’ve tried to be a guitarrist, photographer, Japanese language student, Lego builder and I’ve failed on every single thing, but I don’t feel bad about it because they has led me to other things and people. Especially people.
I have a habit of comparing myself and feeling that I'm losing, not in the sense that it's a race that I must win, in the sense that "hey, others are moving forward in their life and I'm stuck here doing nothing." That's why I'm feeling bad about this.
Thanks for the advice.
Just find something you like to do and stick with that.
You know, as strange (and probably stupid) as this sounds, my problem is exactly this: I feel like there's nothing that I really like.
 
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Rosenkrantz

Once Punched Man
Apr 22, 2019
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You know, as strange (and probably stupid) as this sounds, my problem is exactly this: I feel like there's nothing that I really like.
You have all the time in the world to try everything you want and find something special, no need to hurry things up. Just think about something that makes you comfortable, something you enjoy the most.
 
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NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
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I have a habit of comparing myself and feeling that I'm losing, not in the sense that it's a race that I must win, in the sense that "hey, others are moving forward in their life and I'm stuck here doing nothing." That's why I'm feeling bad about this.
Lower your expectations. If ‘moving up in life’ means ‘I want a house, money, and a wife in three years time’, well, it is possible but sounds a bit too farfetched. Start with things that are within you control.
Also, nobody really knows what we’re doing anyway.
Little things will form a nice foundations. Not every step forward will be grandoise or worthy of social fanfare. But it will be extremely important for you, as a person.
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
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Funny how life gets harder when it gets better. Because how slow bureaucracy is I might be without money completely next month, and because I'm no longer homeless I'm not seen as needing help so I can no longer go to a place to eat except for lunch, so half a meal per day(because I don't eat meat) Yay... I've been meaning to loose weight I guess.XD
 

708

MetaMember
Oct 20, 2018
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You have all the time in the world to try everything you want and find something special, no need to hurry things up. Just think about something that makes you comfortable, something you enjoy the most.
Lower your expectations. If ‘moving up in life’ means ‘I want a house, money, and a wife in three years time’, well, it is possible but sounds a bit too farfetched. Start with things that are within you control.
Also, nobody really knows what we’re doing anyway.
Little things will form a nice foundations. Not every step forward will be grandoise or worthy of social fanfare. But it will be extremely important for you, as a person.
[Hidden content]
Thank you. Maybe I've been looking at all this from the wrong angle.