Support Come and load off your mental struggles

blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
610
1,878
93
I spoke a little about it with lashman and I figured I owed it to anyone else that might be curious. The past week or so I've kind of been through Hell. A lot of personal stuff, a bunch of worries about bills and money and a dash of depression.

In a couple posts over the months I've mentioned how I rarely stick with one forum for long. It's never because of the people that post there, it's because I worry that my near constant troubles will scare folks off or they'll start to ignore me due to growing tired of hearing it. I've dealt with it outside of the internet and as I mentioned in my long post about myself it's just easier for me to vanish. The moment I feel that I'm becoming a burden or no longer have a purpose I bail.

I really want to break that habit. This is the first time I've ever actually felt regret and would miss a lot of you if I followed through. I can't promise that something like this won't happen again, but I do promise to at least be upfront about it next time. I don't want folks to worry about me. :cat-heart-blob:

I'm probably not going to be back to posting for a little while yet though I will be setting my avatar again soon. I look forward to chatting with you all again! :smiling-face-with-smiling-eyes:
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
10,084
17,227
113
The moment I feel that I'm becoming a burden or no longer have a purpose I bail.
you are ABSOLUTELY not becoming burden ... in fact - i genuinely like talking to you about stuff! :)

I really want to break that habit. This is the first time I've ever actually felt regret and would miss a lot of you if I followed through. I can't promise that something like this won't happen again, but I do promise to at least be upfront about it next time. I don't want folks to worry about me. :cat-heart-blob:
that's good to hear ... and i hope you can do it! :)

I'm probably not going to be back to posting for a little while yet though I will be setting my avatar again soon. I look forward to chatting with you all again! :smiling-face-with-smiling-eyes:
take your time ... however long you need ... and then come back and let us know

miss you already!

:wd_heart:
 

Swenhir

Junior Member
Apr 18, 2019
222
748
93
I spoke a little about it with lashman and I figured I owed it to anyone else that might be curious. The past week or so I've kind of been through Hell. A lot of personal stuff, a bunch of worries about bills and money and a dash of depression.

In a couple posts over the months I've mentioned how I rarely stick with one forum for long. It's never because of the people that post there, it's because I worry that my near constant troubles will scare folks off or they'll start to ignore me due to growing tired of hearing it. I've dealt with it outside of the internet and as I mentioned in my long post about myself it's just easier for me to vanish. The moment I feel that I'm becoming a burden or no longer have a purpose I bail.

I really want to break that habit. This is the first time I've ever actually felt regret and would miss a lot of you if I followed through. I can't promise that something like this won't happen again, but I do promise to at least be upfront about it next time. I don't want folks to worry about me. :cat-heart-blob:

I'm probably not going to be back to posting for a little while yet though I will be setting my avatar again soon. I look forward to chatting with you all again! :smiling-face-with-smiling-eyes:
I know the feeling, you are perfectly fine. Hold on and come at any time you'd like :).
 

NarohDethan

Anime threads enthusiast
Apr 6, 2019
1,881
4,494
113
I spoke a little about it with lashman and I figured I owed it to anyone else that might be curious. The past week or so I've kind of been through Hell. A lot of personal stuff, a bunch of worries about bills and money and a dash of depression.

In a couple posts over the months I've mentioned how I rarely stick with one forum for long. It's never because of the people that post there, it's because I worry that my near constant troubles will scare folks off or they'll start to ignore me due to growing tired of hearing it. I've dealt with it outside of the internet and as I mentioned in my long post about myself it's just easier for me to vanish. The moment I feel that I'm becoming a burden or no longer have a purpose I bail.

I really want to break that habit. This is the first time I've ever actually felt regret and would miss a lot of you if I followed through. I can't promise that something like this won't happen again, but I do promise to at least be upfront about it next time. I don't want folks to worry about me. :cat-heart-blob:

I'm probably not going to be back to posting for a little while yet though I will be setting my avatar again soon. I look forward to chatting with you all again! :smiling-face-with-smiling-eyes:
You're one of us. We stick together, and you will never be a burden. Stay strong.
 

blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
610
1,878
93
I whipped up a little something to express my gratitude for all of the love and support. It's honestly gotten me a little teary eyed. Thank you all so much.

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lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
10,084
17,227
113
I whipped up a little something to express my gratitude for all of the love and support. It's honestly gotten me a little teary eyed. Thank you all so much.
awwww ... thanks, man ... you're the bestest!!! :photoblobheart:

by the way - i always wanted to ask, but keep forgetting to do it, lol ... you're the one drawing your avatars, right?
 

blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
610
1,878
93
awwww ... thanks, man ... you're the bestest!!! :photoblobheart:

by the way - i always wanted to ask, but keep forgetting to do it, lol ... you're the one drawing your avatars, right?
I wish I had the artistic talent to have drawn these.. or any artistic talent really, but no, I found them a couple years ago on a Night in the Woods fansite and they had originally been taken from someone's tumblr. Sadly I forget the artist's name. She did some pretty great work outside of these avatars.

And I guess it makes a little more sense now when MonthOLDpickle jokingly asked me to draw a couple funny pictures at least. :LOL:
 
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lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
10,084
17,227
113
I wish I had the artistic talent to have drawn these.. or any artistic talent really, but no, I found them a couple years ago on a Night in the Woods fansite and they had originally been taken from someone's tumblr. Sadly I forget the artist's name. She did some pretty great work outside of these avatars.

And I guess it makes a little more sense now when MonthOLDpickle jokingly asked me to draw a couple funny pictures at least. :LOL:
ahh, i see ... still cool :) i was just wondering because you keep changing them quite often, haha :)
 
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blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
610
1,878
93
ahh, i see ... still cool :) i was just wondering because you keep changing them quite often, haha :)
Ha! Yeah, it helps that there's 8 of them to choose from and since they're similar enough it helps so that I don't throw folks off with an entirely brand new avatar. I am the one that did pride-ify a few of them though. Which took me far longer to figure out than it probably should have. :p

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Hopefully I can find her name again someday so I can give her the proper credit for these.
 

lashman

Dead & Forgotten
Sep 5, 2018
10,084
17,227
113
Ha! Yeah, it helps that there's 8 of them to choose from and since they're similar enough it helps so that I don't throw folks off with an entirely brand new avatar. I am the one that did pride-ify a few of them though. Which took me far longer to figure out than it probably should have. :p
haha, nice! :) and yeah, they are pretty cool!
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
1,237
2,427
113
40
Paris, France
www.fancierlust.com
That really sucks, although the fact that you are feeling better is really great to hear. It's a new chapter :).
It's actually a good thing, I initiated the break up after all.:D she was awesome but I felt little that I don't need to be in a relationship, for everything I want to do it might be better to be on my own. Also that I have strong feelings for an ex who something writes how much she fantasies about me haha. But she has a boyfriend, just because he can provide a good life, pffft damned capitalistic society.
 

Swenhir

Junior Member
Apr 18, 2019
222
748
93
It's actually a good thing, I initiated the break up after all.:D she was awesome but I felt little that I don't need to be in a relationship, for everything I want to do it might be better to be on my own. Also that I have strong feelings for an ex who something writes how much she fantasies about me haha. But she has a boyfriend, just because he can provide a good life, pffft damned capitalistic society.
I'm going to be a little cold and naive but if she feels like she doesn't want to choose you and goes instead for who gives her a good life, maybe it isn't the kind of "love" you'd want anyway. After two years of travel, I get what you mean by the kind of freedom and flexibility being on your own provides. I also have to say that I've seen couples just be amazing together in that life as well, depending on the person it might work for you too :).
 

Monooboe

Vagabond Perv Photographer
Oct 10, 2018
1,237
2,427
113
40
Paris, France
www.fancierlust.com
I'm going to be a little cold and naive but if she feels like she doesn't want to choose you and goes instead for who gives her a good life, maybe it isn't the kind of "love" you'd want anyway. After two years of travel, I get what you mean by the kind of freedom and flexibility being on your own provides. I also have to say that I've seen couples just be amazing together in that life as well, depending on the person it might work for you too :).
Well I'm a hard man to choose haha, since well I'm a homeless bum without a job. She saw me at my worst. As she said, she can't chose me because she needs stability. Of course she loves her boyfriend but not in a passionate way. She has tried to leave but always been talked back into it. Like I get it, I would also chose someone with a nice apartment and job!

But yeah I'm not holding out for her, I probably don't even want her like that. And when I "make it" and she would come to me I couldn't be with her then either because I would resent her too much.
 
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z1ggy

No Anime
Apr 17, 2019
24
92
13
I've come to realize the other day that I dont fear death anymore. I'm not suicidal, just sort of ready to go. I'm having trouble enjoying things. Work isn't bad but I just cant be bothered to be doing this crap for the next few decades. Im so sick of dealing with my moms health issues, and my friends bore the hell out of me. I cant spend the rest of my 20s playing board games in a basement. Fuck off. What comes after this? When can i find love? I'm done man. I'm tired. Look at me, whole house to myself, office job, and still complaining.

I want out
My friend, life is about setting up goals and trying to reach them out. As you linked after your post, we arent designed to be happy, rather to find peace and discover new shit out there.

If you dont want to be in the same place in the next 20 years, what do you really want to do? What are you going to do to change your own future? There´s too much shit to discover out there and life can make some wild turn arounds.
 
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deftones r cool

I̷n̴t̵o̸ ̷t̷h̵e̶ ̵v̵o̵i̸d̵
Apr 19, 2019
292
651
93
My friend, life is about setting up goals and trying to reach them out. As you linked after your post, we arent designed to be happy, rather to find peace and discover new shit out there.

If you dont want to be in the same place in the next 20 years, what do you really want to do? What are you going to do to change your own future? There´s too much shit to discover out there and life can make some wild turn arounds.
I appreciate you reaching out, Z1g, and I'm well tuned to pulling myself up by my boot straps and taking control of the wheel. Unfortunately, I also have type 2 bipolar disorder and due to familial reasons, I work my struggles out through exercise, art, and meditation. I'd rather not rot my organs with prescription medication the way my mother has for something which I can treat otherwise. As a result, sometimes I'm a little uneven and in the gutter, and end up posting things like that post.

Currently more focused than ever on getting my video work back into gear though. I need to do something creative with my life or I really have a missed opportunity on my hands. At least that's what I infer from all the self-help and buddhist books I read.

Salut, and hail Satan. :smart-thinking-blob:
 

z1ggy

No Anime
Apr 17, 2019
24
92
13
I appreciate you reaching out, Z1g, and I'm well tuned to pulling myself up by my boot straps and taking control of the wheel. Unfortunately, I also have type 2 bipolar disorder and due to familial reasons, I work my struggles out through exercise, art, and meditation. I'd rather not rot my organs with prescription medication the way my mother has for something which I can treat otherwise. As a result, sometimes I'm a little uneven and in the gutter, and end up posting things like that post.

Currently more focused than ever on getting my video work back into gear though. I need to do something creative with my life or I really have a missed opportunity on my hands. At least that's what I infer from all the self-help and buddhist books I read.

Salut, and hail Satan. :smart-thinking-blob:
Get cannabis oil, you can always talk to me if you need any something ✨
 

blindrhythm

positively pudding
Apr 17, 2019
610
1,878
93
Going through an even rougher patch in a period that has already been a rough patch and started smoking again after three months off of it. Agh. Need to get my mind in order, get back to meditating each morning and quit again.
Sorry to hear about the rough spot you're in. :cat-heart-blob:

Once things are able to settle down for you I hope you do take another shot at quitting. Three months is a pretty good stretch and I'm sure you'll be able to beat the habit once everything cooperates with you a little better! :)