Support Come and load off your mental struggles

Le Pertti

0.01% Game dev
Oct 10, 2018
8,279
21,202
113
45
Paris, France
lepertti.com
I can really relate to that. Do you know grounding exercises?


They don't fix the cause but they can help you in the moment, and with practice perhaps you can reason and unlearn the harsh and hostile judgment you are probably passing on yourself. That is not to say there aren't problems you can solve but making things a little lighter on your shoulders is never a bad idea.
Thanks! Will keep it mind, but feels like I don't like anything at the moment or to do anything. But I get money in a few days so that always makes me happy for a few days haha!
 

Swenhir

Spaceships!
Apr 18, 2019
3,534
7,621
113
Thanks! Will keep it mind, but feels like I don't like anything at the moment or to do anything. But I get money in a few days so that always makes me happy for a few days haha!
I don't know much about your situation but do you have a thing that really makes sense for you, a thing whose absence really makes you hit rock bottom? Figuring out what makes you think this about your life and articulating it could be a first step to resolve it.

I know this is probably a "no shit sherlock" piece of advice but I personally needed it to try and stop judging myself by standards I, deep down, don't give a damn about.
 

Anteater

Hentai Specialist
Sep 20, 2018
1,405
2,358
113
www.pixiv.net
Taking a break from running/jogging first time in 16 months, because my legs are tired.

Going as bad as I thought it would, I'm going to need other exercises that I can do or sleep the entire day.
 

Hektor

Autobahnraser
Nov 1, 2018
5,682
15,493
113
Something that always irks me is the advice that "you need to learn to love yourself before you can be loved by others"
How am i supposed to know what love even is like?
How am i supposed to "love myself" if there have been some too many people telling me in very long, and hurtful ways that i am, in fact, not worth loving?

I don't wanna get too upsetti at this statement because people are usually trying to be nice when they say that methinks, but reality is that it's very counter productive, because it's just saying that it is impossible to find love.
 

NarohDethan

There was a fish in the percolator!
Apr 6, 2019
8,942
24,801
113
Something that always irks me is the advice that "you need to learn to love yourself before you can be loved by others"
How am i supposed to know what love even is like?
How am i supposed to "love myself" if there have been some too many people telling me in very long, and hurtful ways that i am, in fact, not worth loving?

I don't wanna get too upsetti at this statement because people are usually trying to be nice when they say that methinks, but reality is that it's very counter productive, because it's just saying that it is impossible to find love.
People who truly care about you won’t tell you that you’re unlikable. Don’t listen to them.
 
  • Love
Reactions: PossiblyPudding

Swenhir

Spaceships!
Apr 18, 2019
3,534
7,621
113
Something that always irks me is the advice that "you need to learn to love yourself before you can be loved by others"
How am i supposed to know what love even is like?
How am i supposed to "love myself" if there have been some too many people telling me in very long, and hurtful ways that i am, in fact, not worth loving?

I don't wanna get too upsetti at this statement because people are usually trying to be nice when they say that methinks, but reality is that it's very counter productive, because it's just saying that it is impossible to find love.
It's also pretty heartless because as you said, unless you get help that would mean you are doomed to remain alone which does nothing to help you. It's kind of leaving you there to rot without offering any concrete help while implying pretty hurtful things about you. I still think the saying kind of hints at the right idea and warns about toxic relationships, but it certainly does nothing to sympathize with the person who doesn't love itself or offer a path forward.

Also, holy crap, I'm sorry people did that to you. There's no justification for telling that to someone, especially in the way you hint at :(. As NarohDethan said, people who are worthy of being in your life at all don't speak to you like that.

As for how it feels and what it is like, I think you may know the answer deep down but it's incredibly hard for people who have been abused to allow themselves to believe that little voice inside telling them they are simply alright just the way they are. It's definitively possible and it's a feeling, a vision of yourself that is hard to put into words, If I had to sum it up, it's that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you, quite the opposite.

If it was possible for you, I would recommend talking to a professional because that's no way to live and you deserve help.
 
  • Love
Reactions: PossiblyPudding

Le Pertti

0.01% Game dev
Oct 10, 2018
8,279
21,202
113
45
Paris, France
lepertti.com
I've started to notice a thing with my dating, like yesterday I met someone, it went great but today I get zero interest in her texts, so I just deleted her. It seems to the same most of the time.

Sure I should be happy I even get the chance to date but its just breaks my heart everytime and completely drains me.

Then my psychiatrist seem to have vanished and Swedish student debt thingie has started to transfer it over to french companies so now I keep getting letters from everywhere.

Everything just seems so fucking impossible.
 
  • Love
Reactions: PossiblyPudding

PossiblyPudding

sometimes a doctor of rhythm
Apr 17, 2019
1,839
6,678
113
I've started to notice a thing with my dating, like yesterday I met someone, it went great but today I get zero interest in her texts, so I just deleted her. It seems to the same most of the time.

Sure I should be happy I even get the chance to date but its just breaks my heart everytime and completely drains me.

Then my psychiatrist seem to have vanished and Swedish student debt thingie has started to transfer it over to french companies so now I keep getting letters from everywhere.

Everything just seems so fucking impossible.
Life certainly has a way of making you feel small at times. Even when things are mostly normal there's seemingly always something around the corner to undo it.

Being stuck in that rut where things don't seem to go right or when things that should be happy moments just aren't for one reason or another is so deflating. I've been there far too often as well.

I know it's easier said than done but my best advice would be to take some time for yourself, do some other things you love like your photography, and just kind of shut your mind off for a while. You take amazing photos and losing yourself in a passion like that for a little while can do wonders.

I also hope that your psychiatrist comes back. That's odd they would vanish like that without leaving a message or informing their office or the receptionists so they can tell patients.

In the meantime I can offer a hug at least! [UWSL]:cat-heart-blob:[/UWSL]



Any suggestions for work burnout? There’s days where I barely get anything done
The easiest way I can think of would be to take a vacation but I know that's not always possible unfortunately.

You could also try talking with any co-workers you're close with and see if they're going through or have gone through the same in the past and hopefully they'll be able to share some of the methods they use/used.

Though if there aren't too many folks you can talk to at work about it I'd suggest trying to take a brief moment to yourself here or there throughout the day if possible. Try to relax and just breathe. Clear your mind the best you can. Then when you're ready to get started again just focus on the stuff you can handle in that moment and try not to worry too much about things that could or might happen later.

From the times we've talked I know you care a great deal about a lot of the work you do there and I'm willing to bet folks see that and will understand if you need some time occasionally. :photoblobheart:
 

Le Pertti

0.01% Game dev
Oct 10, 2018
8,279
21,202
113
45
Paris, France
lepertti.com
One week,three dates, getting rejected in two and stood up in one. People say it's good to get used to rejections because it doesn't hurt as much. In one way they are right in that one doesn't get hung up on one girl. But what they don't tell you is it grind away at your self-esteem. There comes a point where there is just one huge gaping hole. Not sure how the fuck to even repair oneself at this point.
 

PossiblyPudding

sometimes a doctor of rhythm
Apr 17, 2019
1,839
6,678
113
I'm done. you win world, you win. I got your fucking point.
I know there's not much that can be said that will turn a bad situation or stretch of time into something positive nor is there an easy solution. But what I can do is send as much love and support as possible. We're all here to listen if you need and while none of us might be professionals, many of us do care.

Please take care of yourself and get some rest and/or relaxation if possible. Take a break from the internet if needed. It's what has helped me when I've been in that spot.. no it's not a permanent fix sadly but taking that time can ease your mind. :photoblobheart:
 

unknownhero

Junior Member
Apr 18, 2019
142
374
63
Yeah, I'm in a dark place right now. Not because of anything happening to me, it's just that I can't take all this evil the world is throwing at everyone and when i make some suggestion to help those effected, I'm shot down. Everyone then looks down at me, calling me an attention whore. I nearly ended my life this morning. I'm still thinking of doing it.
 

Swenhir

Spaceships!
Apr 18, 2019
3,534
7,621
113
Yeah, I'm in a dark place right now. Not because of anything happening to me, it's just that I can't take all this evil the world is throwing at everyone and when i make some suggestion to help those effected, I'm shot down. Everyone then looks down at me, calling me an attention whore. I nearly ended my life this morning. I'm still thinking of doing it.
First and foremost, you really need more help than any of us can offer you. If you are considering ending your life, I implore you to reach out to a professional, to the resources and hotlines who may be warmer and more helpful to you than any of us might. That is not to say we don't want to help, but the stakes are too high not to point you to the help you deserve.

Thank you for still being with us. I don't think you are an attention whore and even the people who appear to be have misunderstood needs. The wording is gratuitously vicious and I'm sorry you were called that.The impulse to help is flat-out admirable, especially when so many people are either indifferent or give up. It still takes a bit of finesse to try and not be too abrupt about it. Some people don't need solutions, they don't need the problems fixed for them. They just need to be seen and listened to.

The evil in the world is something you are allowed to take your eyes off of, especially if it makes you this miserable. You aren't any use to anyone in that state and, more importantly, your happiness always go first. You are allowed to close the windows and focus on yourself, on being in a happy and warm place again until you are ready.

Take care :).
 

PossiblyPudding

sometimes a doctor of rhythm
Apr 17, 2019
1,839
6,678
113
[Hidden content]
Hidden content
You need to reply to this thread in order to see this content.
And apologies for tacking my own problems on to this post. Though I'm almost certain a second post would have done the same I think?

Lately that feeling of being useless has crept back into my mind but this time it's different, this time I believe it. I look to those I care about and wonder, "what do I actually bring to this relationship?" Am I really worth putting up with this every few months?

Which I fear is going to cause friction between myself and a good friend. I get that it's often silly, that it's usually a minor screw up at worst, but I think they'll eventually tire of needing to occasionally cheer me up. It's not fair to anyone to have to deal with me when I'm like this. :disappointed-face:
 

Swenhir

Spaceships!
Apr 18, 2019
3,534
7,621
113
[Hidden content]

And apologies for tacking my own problems on to this post. Though I'm almost certain a second post would have done the same I think?

Lately that feeling of being useless has crept back into my mind but this time it's different, this time I believe it. I look to those I care about and wonder, "what do I actually bring to this relationship?" Am I really worth putting up with this every few months?

Which I fear is going to cause friction between myself and a good friend. I get that it's often silly, that it's usually a minor screw up at worst, but I think they'll eventually tire of needing to occasionally cheer me up. It's not fair to anyone to have to deal with me when I'm like this. :disappointed-face:
Hidden content
You need to react to this post in order to see this content.
 

PossiblyPudding

sometimes a doctor of rhythm
Apr 17, 2019
1,839
6,678
113
[Hidden content]
Thank you both for your kindness and support. I can never express how much it truly means to me every single time. :photoblobheart:

So instead of trying to find the words I'll just leave this gif here for you both and to everyone else that I count as friends and that continue to stand by me. It's all so humbling and heartwarming. You all are the greatest friends someone could ever hope for.

 

Hektor

Autobahnraser
Nov 1, 2018
5,682
15,493
113
Hidden content
You are not allowed to view this content
Please don't worry about me, i just needed to SIGH through written word

wow and as i post this, the primary reason for why im so down rn has ceased to be, LORDE, what a blessing of a coincidence