Support Come and load off your mental struggles

[Wok]

[HIDEPOSTS]

At this point i just don't really know what to do anymore.

[/HIDEPOSTS]

I will throw a bunch of ideas and you do you:

• see a therapist,
• practice some outdoor activities,
• since you have a job, you may have the money to subscribe to a gym, or an association to do some sports like martial arts or boxing.

It is harder to motivate someone to do something which you suggest to them, rather than meet people who independently decided to do the same thing you decided to do. I feel like you will meet new people in the process of doing a new activity.

 

[708]

[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]
Everytime I feel my life is getting sorted out, something happens and it gets worse. Now it's worse than ever. I learned I have type 1 diabetes... at 21 years old. I honestly feel my life is destroyed. I don't know what I should do. And seeing how my parents are worried at sad for me makes me feel even more shitty. I saw tears drop out of my dad's life for the first time in my life. I wish I was never born... Everything would've been better. A lot better.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[lashman]

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[708]

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[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]
Thanks lash. But it does feel that way right now...
And sorry for venting... I feel even more of a burden right now.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[lashman]

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[Swenhir]

[Hidden content]

[HIDEPOSTS]Diabetes suck, that is without question. But it is also something people leave happy and fulfilled lives with. You didn't want it, and there is absolutely no question that it's a horrible news and revelation. I don't want to minimize nor invalidate that. It's just that it's not the end. There is a happy and joyful life through this, but I'm really, really sorry you got hit on the head with a megaton like that. That's cruel and I have no words beyond : don't give up if you can. Focus on surviving, on yourself. Hold on .[/HIDEPOSTS]

 

[708]

[Hidden content]

Thanks... I appreciate you.

[Hidden content]

I don't have enough posts to view this, which is making me laugh for some reason but thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. It means a lot.

 

[Swenhir]

Thanks... I appreciate you.

I don't have enough posts to view this, which is making me laugh for some reason but thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. It means a lot.

I'm sorry! Here it is again, I thought you were a member and I try to avoid the possibilities of lurkers seeing posts like these too easily.

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[708]

I'm sorry! Here it is again, I thought you were a member and I try to avoid the possibilities of lurkers seeing posts like these too easily.

[Hidden content]

[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]
Haha, no problem Yeah, I suppose it's something that can be lived with, though it'll take some time getting used to it for sure. I think I should learn to live with it, and not destroy any chance of having a happy and fulfilling life. Although it's easier than done.
Thanks again. I'm feeling a little bit better (at least for now), I hope that continues.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[Wok]

[Hidden content]

[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]
Sorry. I am hopeful that you will get in a better state of mind, because you can definitely live a happy life with the proper medicinal care, despite the disease. The good part is that the sooner you know about the disease, the better it is taken care of, and the least consequence over your life the disease will have.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[708]

[Hidden content]

[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]
Thanks wok! It means a lot. Yeah، that's true. I suppose I just don't believe in myself as much as I should, given my history and struggling with depression and anxiety. But unless I want to live a miserable life and die at a young age (which I definitely don't), I have to be stronger. So I suppose I'll try that. And something tells me I'll be able to do that. Hopefully it's true.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[PossiblyPudding]

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[NarohDethan]

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[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]You got this buddy. Diabetes is very manegeable. Stick to your doctor's instructions and you'll be set.
Source: my whole family from my mother's side is diabetic.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[708]

Just wanted to say that I appreciate all of you.

[Hidden content]

I hope things get better for you Yeah, there are plenty of incredible people both here in Meta and irl that offer support, but there's this sense of being a burden that everyone is better off without, and sometimes I can't quite shake off this feeling. I guess I'll have to overcome that.
Thanks again for your kind words

[Hidden content]

Thanks for your support Yeah, I'll do that. Hope they also manage to be healthy and happy

 

[PossiblyPudding]

Just wanted to thank all of you for your support and kind words. I appreciate you.

I hope things get better for you Yeah, there are plenty of incredible people both here in Meta and irl that offer support, but there's this sense of being a burden that everyone is better off without, and sometimes I can't quite shake off this feeling. I guess I'll have to overcome that.
Thanks again for your kind words

Thanks for your support Yeah, I'll do that. Hope they also manage to be healthy and happy

Oh no, I should have worded my post a little better! I apologize if it came across as trying to shift focus to my personal struggles with depression. Though I do really appreciate the well wishes, thank you! Things have been better for me lately.

I totally understand that feeling of being a burden. That's where my mind usually goes too and gets stuck there for a while. It's one of the more difficult thoughts to overcome but I got a good piece of advice from a good friend that helped me a lot. If folks thought you were a burden or didn't want you around they wouldn't want to spend time with you in the first place or would have left a long time ago.

Trust your friends and family. They clearly want you around, they aren't just tolerating or humoring you. Don't be afraid to rely on them when you're feeling down or not quite yourself. It's what true friends and family are for after all, to help pick those up that they care about.

Like take me for example, while you and I have only chatted a few times on Meta and usually just this thread, I don't see you as a burden at all. I see you as someone who might be struggling with certain feelings or thoughts in that moment that could use some cheering up. And while I can't speak for everyone in this thread I know that it's something I don't mind doing at all.

 

[708]

Oh no, I should have worded my post a little better! I apologize if it came across as trying to shift focus to my personal struggles with depression. Though I do really appreciate the well wishes, thank you! Things have been better for me lately.

I totally understand that feeling of being a burden. That's where my mind usually goes too and gets stuck there for a while. It's one of the more difficult thoughts to overcome but I got a good piece of advice from a good friend that helped me a lot. If folks thought you were a burden or didn't want you around they wouldn't want to spend time with you in the first place or would have left a long time ago.

Trust your friends and family. They clearly want you around, they aren't just tolerating or humoring you. Don't be afraid to rely on them when you're feeling down or not quite yourself. It's what true friends and family are for after all, to help pick those up that they care about.

Like take me for example, while you and I have only chatted a few times on Meta and usually just this thread, I don't see you as a burden at all. I see you as someone who might be struggling with certain feelings or thoughts in that moment that could use some cheering up. And while I can't speak for everyone in this thread I know that it's something I don't mind doing at all.

Your post didn't come across that at all, no apology needed You've helped me several times in this thread, and I just wanted to wish you success and happiness in your personal struggles
That's a really really good advice. I'll try to keep that in mind.
And I should get a little more active in other threads

 

[Swenhir]

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[PossiblyPudding]

[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]This is going to be more just me shouting into the void rather than my depression getting the better of me again. Honestly, I've been feeling pretty good the last few weeks despite some of the stuff that's happened.

I kind of feel bad that I haven't been around on here as much the past month or so. Work has been keeping me busy and then I usually play some co-op with friends to unwind afterwards.

But that's not the entire reason. A couple weeks ago my mom was told that she might have cancer and last week she found out that she does. Thankfully it doesn't seem to be serious. It can be removed and there's a 98% chance of it not returning. She'll be seeing a specialist on October 27, which again seems like good news that they feel it can wait that long to be removed. After a scare she had with Covid earlier this year when two co-workers tested positive, one of which had still been coming into work, let's just say it's been quite a year so far when it comes to health scares. She's a tough woman though and I know she'll be okay.

The other thing is I'm almost certain my long time friend and I are no longer friends. I'm not entirely sure what changed but he's been short with me the past month at best and ignoring me at worst. We've had times where we haven't talked much but in the 20+ years we've been friends nothing like this has happened. And from what I can tell it's not personal life stuff since he's been getting a little more time off and being able to relax more and his family is doing great. I'll keep hoping for the best obviously.

And finally my three cats have somehow gotten fleas and that's been a real battle trying to solve that problem. Wally has sensitive skin so I can't use most anti flea stuff on him. Mitsy and Rocky are handling it better but still manage to get fleas again due to Wally. I'll beat those darn fleas eventually but it's so heartbreaking seeing how miserable they all are, especially Wally.

In any event I'll hopefully be around more soon and I'll have to start doing a little more streaming again on Discord.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[lashman]

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[PossiblyPudding]

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[Hidden content]

Thanks lash! I had no second thoughts about hitting that hug reaction, your support always means a lot and I knew it would be heartfelt.

[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]And you're right about my buddy. He ignored the first time I asked but I'm not going to give up yet. I just hope whatever it is that's it's nothing serious.[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[lashman]

Thanks lash! I had no second thoughts about hitting that hug reaction, your support always means a lot.

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[lashman]

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[PossiblyPudding]

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[HIDEREPLYTHANKS]I'll start by saying you're not worthless in the slightest. While we may have only met a year and a half ago I've found you to be a very kind and driven person. Maybe that hasn't translated to success offline yet but those are important traits to have. That drive will take you far as long as you hang onto it. Eventually someone will take notice, it might not be today or tomorrow but they will. Stay strong, I know your moment will come.

I know exactly where you're coming from and I might have mentioned it before so I apologize if I repeat myself a little. I grew up very poor and was almost homeless twice in my life, both times before I was 18. I had to grow up fast.. well before I was ready. The fear and uncertainty my parents were going through was frightening at that age. I kind of became their rock but even then had it not been for a stroke of luck we would have definitely been homeless that second time.

And I'm by no means wealthy now. I never will be most likely. I'm just in a spot where I have little overhead so it appears that I have more than I really do. If I were to do the math I actually only make slightly over minimum wage for all of the work I do.

What I'm getting at is that things have a way of really making you feel low for a while but often swing back the other way to where even if it's not a huge gain you're at least above water. It took me a long time and it's only been the past three years that I've been in a good spot and like I mentioned earlier I know it will happen for you too.

Also know you've always got friends you can lean on for anything, any time if needed. I'm always happy to listen and chat whenever.
[/HIDEREPLYTHANKS]

 

[Le Pertti]

lashman Right there with you. Nothing has made me feels as worthless as not being able to afford normal things that it seems everyone can afford. As it was a personal failing. But we have to remember poverty isn't shameful and it doesn't tie into the worth of a person. You should judge that by how valued you are by everyone here!

 

[Swenhir]

lashman Right there with you. Nothing has made me feels as worthless as not being able to afford normal things that it seems everyone can afford. As it was a personal failing. But we have to remember poverty isn't shameful and it doesn't tie into the worth of a person. You should judge that by how valued you are by everyone here!

I would go one further and say that society wields shame in entirely inappropriate and brutal ways. You have nothing to be ashamed about lash.

 

[Swenhir]

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[NarohDethan]

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[Swenhir]

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[Hektor]

Is anyone else really NOT looking forward to christmas this year?
I already know my mental health is gonna hit rock bottom this time around,
Standards are already low for me this time of the year, but this year i won't have any private christmas celebrations (as usual), no work related celebrations because of COVID, no wintermarkets to chill out in the masses with some mulled wine either AND for me personally, i have this particular struggle that i really tried to find some people to celebrate this year with, and didn't manage to.

I'm gonna drink a lot of alc, that's for sure.

 

[Le Pertti]

Is anyone else really NOT looking forward to christmas this year?
I already know my mental health is gonna hit rock bottom this time around,
Standards are already low for me this time of the year, but this year i won't have any private christmas celebrations (as usual), no work related celebrations because of COVID, no wintermarkets to chill out in the masses with some mulled wine either AND for me personally, i have this particular struggle that i really tried to find some people to celebrate this year with, and didn't manage to.

I'm gonna drink a lot of alc, that's for sure.

I've been alone on Christmas like for a decade so at this point I don't really celebrate it, it's just another day. But I do try to eat chocolate and try to make dinner that's little nicer than I usually do. And yeah say my happy Christmases here on MC.;D

 

[Swenhir]

Is anyone else really NOT looking forward to christmas this year?
I already know my mental health is gonna hit rock bottom this time around,
Standards are already low for me this time of the year, but this year i won't have any private christmas celebrations (as usual), no work related celebrations because of COVID, no wintermarkets to chill out in the masses with some mulled wine either AND for me personally, i have this particular struggle that i really tried to find some people to celebrate this year with, and didn't manage to.

I'm gonna drink a lot of alc, that's for sure.

I believe that's the plan here too. Don't indulge in Alcohol much normally, but christmas is a time I tend to drown given the trainwreck of a family life I have.

 

[NarohDethan]

Is anyone else really NOT looking forward to christmas this year?
I already know my mental health is gonna hit rock bottom this time around,
Standards are already low for me this time of the year, but this year i won't have any private christmas celebrations (as usual), no work related celebrations because of COVID, no wintermarkets to chill out in the masses with some mulled wine either AND for me personally, i have this particular struggle that i really tried to find some people to celebrate this year with, and didn't manage to.

I'm gonna drink a lot of alc, that's for sure.

For some reason I like spending Holidays alone, and my birthday. But I empathize with you. I hope you can find some comfort with the things you have within your grasp

 

[Le Pertti]

Haha speaking of spending the holidays with you guys, found this old pic from New Years Eve 2014!

 

[Panda Pedinte]

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[Le Pertti]

All I want is to find someone and start a family. And that has been hard because being poor doesn't really instill confidence in potential partners.

But not only that, I did a sperm test to see if something was up and doesn't look good, even if everything would go my way to actually have kids would be hard.

So yeah feels like all the things and everything I wanted in life was never for me. What I have left I can't even enjoy. Here I was thinking that depression was something I was getting out of but if seems it's the only thing I will have.

 

[Panda Pedinte]

All I want is to find someone and start a family. And that has been hard because being poor doesn't really instill confidence in potential partners.

But not only that, I did a sperm test to see if something was up and doesn't look good, even if everything would go my way to actually have kids would be hard.

So yeah feels like all the things and everything I wanted in life was never for me. What I have left I can't even enjoy. Here I was thinking that depression was something I was getting out of but if seems it's the only thing I will have.

In the current situation with the pandemic going on it may be a bit more difficult to meet people, but once this thing ends try to look into hobbies and you may find people.

Iirc you're living in France right? Don't now if you have friends there but maybe they know someone and may introduce them to you. This is how I met my SO, we were introduced by mutual friends and it just started as a friendship.

About kids there's the option to adopt, it was something that we considered if we were unable to have kids.

We all have our expectations and dreams and as someone who also had dealt with depression I know that feel of when things don't happens the way we expected but don't give up.

 

[Le Pertti]

In the current situation with the pandemic going on it may be a bit more difficult to meet people, but once this thing ends try to look into hobbies and you may find people.

Iirc you're living in France right? Don't now if you have friends there but maybe they know someone and may introduce them to you. This is how I met my SO, we were introduced by mutual friends and it just started as a friendship.

About kids there's the option to adopt, it was something that we considered if we were unable to have kids.

We all have our expectations and dreams and as someone who also had dealt with depression I know that feel of when things don't happens the way we expected but don't give up.

Yeah I live in Paris and pretty much all my socialising has been either hanging out here in MC or on dates. I realise I should be making friends!

I think my biggest problem is that I'm already 41 and my life is a mess. Sure I'm working on it but where I am at this point if I want to have a family I should have been twenty years ago if that makes sense? I have to just wing it going forward and hope for the best. Building for a family was the only guiding light I had but since that is so unsure now I don't know what to do. All my dating has been about building a family since no one I've met are interesting in something without that aspect, how the hell can I date when it's not even sure I can give them children?

 

[Panda Pedinte]

Yeah I live in Paris and pretty much all my socialising has been either hanging out here in MC or on dates. I realise I should be making friends!

I think my biggest problem is that I'm already 41 and my life is a mess. Sure I'm working on it but where I am at this point if I want to have a family I should have been twenty years ago if that makes sense? I have to just wing it going forward and hope for the best. Building for a family was the only guiding light I had but since that is so unsure now I don't know what to do. All my dating has been about building a family since no one I've met are interesting in something without that aspect, how the hell can I date when it's not even sure I can give them children?

The bold part makes total sense but try to not put much pressure on yourself. My youngest brother was conceived when my parents were 47 and 42. About the sperm test, is there any treatment for it?

 

[Le Pertti]

The bold part makes total sense but try to not put much pressure on yourself. My youngest brother was conceived when my parents were 47 and 42. About the sperm test, is there any treatment for it?

I haven't seen a doctor but I don't it's totally hopeless. As for treatment, don't think so, other than getting in shape and eating much better. But I can barely afford one banana and one canned vegetables per day and they recommend five fruits and lots of fresh vegetables haha!

 

[Panda Pedinte]

I haven't seen a doctor but I don't it's totally hopeless. As for treatment, don't think so, other than getting in shape and eating much better. But I can barely afford one banana and one canned vegetables per day and they recommend five fruits and lots of fresh vegetables haha!

You will manage to pass through it and we will be hear when you find the need to vent.

 

[Le Pertti]

What a weird week. Three exes have contacted me. One did pretty much an interview with me to just know what was up, to check how far along I was to being successful. She said she would return when I was haha.

One stayed[UWSL] over one night at my place before she went to spend lockdown with some other guy.[/UWSL]

[UWSL]And now one that talks about leaving her boyfriend to be with me. I think she only wants to know I would take her. She calls me like once every two months to fantasise about us [/UWSL]

[UWSL]All three at the same time make me feel kind of shitty to be honest.[/UWSL]

 

[Swenhir]

What a weird week. Three exes have contacted me. One did pretty much an interview with me to just know what was up, to check how far along I was to being successful. She said she would return when I was haha.

One stayed[UWSL] over one night at my place before she went to spend lockdown with some other guy.[/UWSL]

[UWSL]And now one that talks about leaving her boyfriend to be with me. I think she only wants to know I would take her. She calls me like once every two months to fantasise about us [/UWSL]

[UWSL]All three at the same time make me feel kind of shitty to be honest.[/UWSL]

Perhaps this is mean and hastily judgmental of me to say, but they seem to be exes for good reason. I mean, life means people drift apart anyway but the way they are treating you isn't excessively respectful from my standpoint.

 

[Le Pertti]

Perhaps this is mean and hastily judgmental of me to say, but they seem to be exes for good reason. I mean, life means people drift apart anyway but the way they are treating you isn't excessively respectful from my standpoint.

Yeah you are absolutely right. I have told them the issues I have with them and at this point I keep them at a distance. Just caught me off guard all three contacting me at the same time haha.

 

[「Echo」]

I maybe need help/support but i've drinked a lot wine tonight so this might go bnad.

I think i am in an "abusive" relatiomn, i really love this boyfriend of mine for like 8 months now but lately we fight a lot. It's not physical abuse or anytihnfg but mental, i alwaus try to explain things my PoV and he just refuses to see it. When i do so it just "turning things around" on him. There is never any solution to our problems unless i bow my head, take the blame, and apologize for always being wrong. I just dunoo if i can anymore.

I'm so heartbroken lately tbh. it's hard to get out of bed. We play FFXIV a lot together, it's actually how we met too, but this whole situation is just making sour on a game i love. I don't want to see him and hurt in my heart. I'm not really sure if i can break it off cleanly with him either.

sorry for bumping this old thread. mabe i jsut needed to vent a bit.

 

[Anteater]

I maybe need help/support but i've drinked a lot wine tonight so this might go bnad.

I think i am in an "abusive" relatiomn, i really love this boyfriend of mine for like 8 months now but lately we fight a lot. It's not physical abuse or anytihnfg but mental, i alwaus try to explain things my PoV and he just refuses to see it. When i do so it just "turning things around" on him. There is never any solution to our problems unless i bow my head, take the blame, and apologize for always being wrong. I just dunoo if i can anymore.

I'm so heartbroken lately tbh. it's hard to get out of bed. We play FFXIV a lot together, it's actually how we met too, but this whole situation is just making sour on a game i love. I don't want to see him and hurt in my heart. I'm not really sure if i can break it off cleanly with him either.

sorry for bumping this old thread. mabe i jsut needed to vent a bit.

Let him know you need a break. Probably good thing for both of you.

 

[「Echo」]

a break huh. not a terrible idea the more i think about it., The thing whjere this gets complicated is that he's alreadfy married to a lady. Whom i get along with just fine, she's totally cool with it, but i alwaus feel a bit awkward with anyway. I feel like if we take a breka for a bit he might just forget me or something. I dunno. I know i'm the interloper here, i've alwas been 3rd wheel now i think about it. sigh wth did i walk in to some days i wonder.

i can't really help i fell in love him tyhough. he's normally kind and caring we got along so well and he was always so keen to let me open up and listen to me ramble about my styupid shit. I felt like i could be myselg with him,. i stilkl feel like it. but when we fight he's totally different. His programming self takes over and it's all logic and no emotion. I dunno how to cope with it.

 

[Hektor]

Long time no see my friend. Sorry to hear you haven't been off all too well.

What you are describing here

i alwaus try to explain things my PoV and he just refuses to see it. When i do so it just "turning things around" on him.

This self-victimization is definitely something abusers do a lot, often without even being aware themselfs.
On it's own that doesn't nessecarily mean that the relationship is abusive, but that it could be.
It all depends on other factors too, like how often does this happen, what you are fighting about etc.

Regarding the idea of a break, if he in any way loves you back he won't forget you over a short break.
If he does, then, as hard to swallow as the pill might be, he never has and at least then you know the truth.

I don't mean to intrude on private matters, but the fact that he's married is rather unusual, is it an open-relationhip kinda deal or more of an "they are technically divorced just not legally" kinda deal?

I totally understand how you are feeling buddy, i would love nothing more than to feel like that around someone, but you shouldn't allow your desire for imtimacy to devalue yourself if worst case scenario this actually is abusive.

You realistically need to consider, in this relationship to another person, how are you feeling most of the time? Joyful? Miserable? Anxious? Do you dread or fear something? And then act accordingly.

A relationship should make you a happier, better person. If it doesn't it's not worth having. But we here so far away from the situation can't judge that.

Anyways, i hope it'll work out for you regardless of what's the case ❤

 

[Wok]

There is never any solution to our problems unless i bow my head, take the blame, and apologize for always being wrong.

That is awful. It is easier said than done, but I feel like you need to get away from this kind of abusive relationship.

he's already married to a lady. Whom i get along with just fine, she's totally cool with it, but i always feel a bit awkward with anyway.
I feel like if we take a break for a bit he might just forget me or something.

That is also awful. I mean, you feel like some expendable that he might forget if he does not see you for a while. Seriously, you deserve better than that.

 

[Swenhir]

i alwaus try to explain things my PoV and he just refuses to see it. When i do so it just "turning things around" on him. There is never any solution to our problems unless i bow my head, take the blame, and apologize for always being wrong.

You are right, that is abuse. Refusing to accept that you have your own needs, that your side exists too is textbook gaslighting and refusing to acknowledge your own side of the relationship.

I can't say anything more than what others have. Taking a break might be needed, as cruelly easy as it is to say to another .

 

[Anteater]

Since this thread is bumped... I've been heavily drinking again the past... 3 weeks, where it's kinda affecting my life in some way. One of my dogs passed away several weeks ago and I just have trouble coping, you might think this is silly but I don't know why it's so hard either.

I literally dream of my dog every morning and it haunts me because the one way to start every morning is of course waking up realizing the dream is wrong and she's no longer there. My dog was old (she was a 14 year+ old shiba) so she had trouble walking so most of my time was spent taking care of her, carrying her up and down the stairs, and taking her for a small walks every several hours, the few days before she passed when I carry her down she'd sometimes look up and stare at me like she's trying to tell me something but I did literally jack shit other than hug her, and I think about it daily, these are not so good memories of me just trying to get her to keep walking for the sake of her health and I feel like an incredibly cruel person now. My family of course have no problem "thinking of the good times" but I myself think of how shitty we probably were and how much more we could've done.

My entire schedule revolved around her, my work and sleep is revolved around her. I really don't know what I should do because now I no longer have to take care of her and I get a bunch of these "free time" that I don't know what to do with, I just start crying randomly whenever something reminds me of her, or if I just start thinking about it. I don't know if I should just try and stop thinking or try to keep thinking about it to get over it. I keep humming music in my head or just keep watching random shit so I can keep my head occupied at all times because I don't want to think or dream about it whenever I close my eyes.

Whenever I drink I get to think about how I'd start to get my shit together once this is all done but truth is when I'm sober I don't want to do shit and don't want to wake up, I'm lucky I work remotely so I could get away with this shit, but here I go downing another bottle and think it'll be better the next day only to wake up depressed and for the cycle to repeat again.